


Shatter Me

by IceDragoness



Category: Captain America (Movies), The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Bucky Barnes Needs a Hug, F/M, Gen, Not Avengers: Age of Ultron (Movie) Compliant, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Sam Wilson Is a Good Bro, Team Bonding, Team as Family
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-03-25
Updated: 2018-01-10
Packaged: 2018-10-10 06:25:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 39,655
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10431099
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/IceDragoness/pseuds/IceDragoness
Summary: Sometimes there are opportunities in life that are so rare, you have to grab it even though you know you aren't really prepared for it. For Grace, a psychiatrist specializing in soldiers with PTSD, her life challenge would be helping Bucky Barnes put himself back together after the fall of SHIELD. She didn't quite expect Captain America to need her help as well. Canon Divergence.





	1. Chapter 1

Tap. Tap. Tap.

She was trying really hard to ignore the sound. Her sleep was so blissful. Lying on the hard surface, her face wet from moisture. Hang on, moisture?

“GRACE!”

The sound of her name being yelled made her jerk awake properly. Grace rubbed her face, cringing at the feel of her own drool clinging to her cheek. With her free hand, she tried to rub the last bits of sleep from her eyes. Grace only succeeded in rubbing the remains of her make up across her face.

“What!” Grace yelled back at the voice that interrupted her not so beauty sleep.

“Unlock the door woman!” it was the voice of her assistant yelling at her. “And please tell me you didn’t fall asleep here last night?”

“I didn’t fall asleep at my desk last night,” Grace parroted back obediently, stiffly climbing out of her chair. She had done exactly that while writing patient notes last night. So much for her promise to herself that she’d stop by 10 and go home. The clock on her wall tormented her by saying it was 7:12am. Her once immaculate grey suit was now wrinkled and she could feel the strands of red hair sticking out in every direction. Grace didn’t need a mirror to know she looked like a nightmare. But she unlocked her office door anyway, blinking in the bright sunlight that dared to assault her senses. Standing there was a cheery, round brunette, holding up a coffee cup and brown paper bag.

“We need to stop meeting like this.”

The smell of eggs benedict wafted up to Grace’s nose, making her mouth water. She eagerly took both the breakfast and coffee from her assistant, Hannah’s hands. It didn’t go unnoticed by Grace that there was a small overnight bag at Hannah’s feet either.

“You are my lifesaver,” Grace gushed to Hannah. “What would I do without you?”

“You would starve to death, die of caffeine withdrawal and look like hell for your 8am appointment,” Hannah said cheerfully. “Who is early by the way. Would you like me to send him in?”

Grace scrunched her face up, desperately trying to remember who she had for such an early appointment. As the current most senior psychiatry resident at Walter Reed Medical Centre, she didn’t see a lot of patient one on one. But with the staff shortages being so bad, Grace felt like she was doing every single job there was. She was due to be board certified in a month, yet there were days she was still doing the job of a first year resident and the chief psychiatrist all in one.

“He’s not a patient,” Hannah quickly reassured her. “But Dr Asshole thought he was too important to talk to him, so has left him to your charm and graces.”

Dr Asshole was Colonel Jefferson, an army psychiatrist who ran the psych facility at Walter Reed. Though they were desperately understaffed. Colonel Jefferson was only seen when he needed to be seen. He left all the work to his residents. With budget cuts and media pressure about everything happening in the world these days. There were barely enough residents to cope with the workload. Being the most senior, Grace took it upon herself to shoulder a great burden of the work. Even if it meant sleeping in her office, no social life and definitely no time for anything else.

“Let me eat first,” Grace fought back a tired sigh. No doubt it was someone chasing an interview. Ever since 3 Helicarriers went down in the Potomac a year ago, the influx of SHIELD agents at Walter Reed had been astronomical. Even after a year, reporters still tried to chase some of those agents down to get stories out of them. Grace had done far too many of these interviews. Most she could get out of the office in a few minutes, but some of the reporters were very persistent. They just couldn’t understand that while someone may have been a SHIELD agent, their chances of knowing Captain America or Black Widow were slim to none. Most of the agents were too traumatised from having their entire workplace ripped from underneath them, they weren’t in any condition to talk to reporters anyway.

“Of course darl,” Hannah’s strong southern accent came through. “Don’t forget to change either. You look like you slept in the gutter.”

Grace felt like she’d slept in the gutter, but she wasn’t going to share that with Hannah. Although she was technically Colonel Jefferson’s assistant, he was so rarely in the office, she’d packed up and come to help Grace instead. Hannah was everything Grace needed to keep things running. She was perfect at soothing ruffled feathers, keeping the behind the scenes running and making sure nothing imploded on a daily basis. She organised Grace’s schedule and made sure she slept and ate when she needed to. The older southern woman was Grace’s lifeline.

“I’ll keep him amused for you,” Hannah gave Grace a wicked smile. “He is very easy on the eyes.”

Grace chuckled before thanking Hannah for breakfast and coffee. As she went back to her desk, Grace blew out an exhausted breath and collapsed into her chair. The day had just started and she already felt like she’d just done a 12 hour shift. She hadn’t had a day off in nearly a month. The only way her family and friends knew she was alive was the occasional Facebook update. Even those were rare and only put on the fend off the worried phone calls.

Scoffing down her breakfast, Grace quickly flicking through her phone making sure there wasn’t anything that needed her attention right away. There was a group session she needed to attend at 10am. Another one at 1pm. Then the usual rounds of those patients still under intensive watch. Her pager had mercifully been silent last night. So it was the usual full ward to deal with and no new emergency cases to be squeezed in. A few emails and a message from her mom, which could all wait until later.

20 minutes later, Grace was changed, make up refreshed and hair pulled back into a practical bun. She wasn’t ready to face the day quite yet, but knew if she didn’t get rid of this reporter it would screw with her entire day. Plastering on a practice smile, Grace squared her shoulders before opening the door. Poking her head out, she looked out into the reception area to find her 8am appointment. Who she was greeted with was definitely not what she was expecting.

“Sammy?” Grace laughed, seeing the familiar dark skinned man on the couch.

“Surprise Ungraceful,” Sam Wilson grinned back at her. “Do I get a hug?”

Grace laughed again, pushing the door open and leapt into Sam’s waiting arms.

“Oh it's so good to see you,” Grace hugged him as hard as she possibly could. “I’ll even let that horrible nickname slide.”

Grace and Sam grew up together, living next door to each other. Being the youngest in each of their families gave them an unbreakable bond, despite the 4 year age gap between them. While their lives had taken many twists and turns, they both stayed in touch. Through med school for Grace and the Army for Sam, nothing could shake their friendship. But lately, life had gotten in the way and they were both busier than ever. Grace hadn’t seen Sam in nearly 9 months.

“Yeah I can’t believe I have to make an appointment to see you,” Sam laughed as he squeezed her tightly. “Can I come in? This isn’t just a friendly visit.”

“Sure,” Grace gave Sam another squeeze before letting him go. “Come on in, I’d say excuse the mess, but its you.”

“Funny,” Sam rolled his eyes, but followed her into the office. Grace quickly kicked her discarded clothing from before under the chair, hoping Sam wouldn’t notice. Unfortunately he did. Grace could feel the judgement stare before she turned around to see it.

“You be shush,” Grace scolded him instantly. “We’re under staffed and you’re off being an Avenger. You can’t judge my lifestyle Bird Boy with the company you keep.”

“Oh that’s how it is?” Sam scoffed at her playfully, arching an eyebrow at her. “You judge me for being pals with Captain America and you’re sleeping in your office. Well luckily for you, I am a very good friend and I’m here to change that.”

“What, you’re going to be my baby sitter?” Grace rolled her eyes, collapsing down into one of the comfy armchairs in the office. She should really start doing her paperwork in this chair. At least it was more comfortable than sleeping on the desk in a puddle of her own drool.

“Not quite,” Sam’s expression turned serious. He reached down into the backpack he’d brought along, pulling out an impossibly thin computer tablet. Grace forced herself not to go green with envy. Stark Pads were all the rage at the moment. But on her crappy government salary, there was no way Grace could afford the $1500 price tag that came with it.

“What I’m about to show you is really classified,” Sam hesitated, holding the tablet close to him. “Right now there are 8 people in the world who know about this, me included. So it goes without saying…”

“That if I tell anyone I’ll be killed and no one will ever find my body,” Grace finished for Sam, resisting the urge to snatch the tablet out of his hands. Her curiosity was nearly uncontrollable right now. Whatever Sam was about to show her was going to be really good. Grace secretly hoped it was video footage of Captain America stripping and Sam was putting on the serious face for show.

Pressing a few buttons and a nimble flick of his fingers, Sam handed the tablet to Grace. She tiled her head to the side a little, frowning at the video on the screen. It looked like it was a live feed. The scruffy looking dark haired man on the screen was pacing the room like a caged tiger. What caught her eye a second later made Grace’s eyes snap back up the Sam. The glint of a metal arm with a red star was unmistakable. Even a year later, that very man was still hot gossip and one of the most wanted fugitives on the planet.

“Is that?” Grace asked breathlessly. The idea was so preposterous she couldn’t even finish her sentence.

“Yeah,” Sam shifted uncomfortably on the patient couch. “Steve found him wandering the streets of their old neighbourhood a few days ago causing a bit of a ruckus.”

“Fuck me,” Grace couldn’t think of anything else to say. She shook her head while staring at the video. He’d stopped pacing now and was punching the walls instead. The sound was muted, but Grace still flinched every time his flesh hand hit the wall. He obviously wasn’t trying to escape, but the anger and frustration was clear in every movement of his taunt body.

“I think there were some stronger words thrown around when Steve dragged him back,” Sam chuckled but there was little mirth in his tone. “That room is a containment area in case the Hulk gets out, so he's not going anywhere.”

“So why show this to me?” Grace stopped the video and handed the tablet back to Sam. “Here I was hoping for some naked Avengers shots and you give me a crazy assassin.”

“Well,” Sam passed, fiddling with his hands in his lap. Grace knew this was his nervous habit when he couldn’t quite think of the way to put things into words. “Turns out he’s not just a crazy assassin. The Winter Soldier is Steve’s old war buddy, Bucky Barnes.”

Grace was lost for words. She could only stare at Sam, her mouth opening and closing trying to think of something, anything, intelligent to say. But the shock of what she just heard kept her brain blank and mouth working like a goldfish trying to breath. Like everyone else in the world, she’d heard the rumours and theories about who the Winter Solider was. But she never thought they could be true.

“Why are you showing me this?” Grace finally managed to squeak out. She cleared her throat and brought it back down to a more level tone. “Is this a joke Sam? If it is, it's not funny.”

“We, meaning the entire team and I, need a psychiatrist to help Barnes,” Sam said, picking his words carefully. “Since he’s a wanted fugitive, we can’t exactly advertise the position. There’s no one else I trust more in the world than you Grace.”

“I’m not a psychiatrist yet,” Grace deflected quickly. What Sam was suggesting was absolutely crazy in her mind. “This is way more than I can handle. You’ve got a psychology degree Sammy, surely you can help him?”

“I’m way out of my depth here,” Sam admitted with a small shake of his head. “Veterans with PTSD? Sure no problems. I’ve been there done that myself. A brain washed assassin who’s been in and out of a freezer for 70 years? Not so much. You’re the one who put my brain back together after Riley died. When I talk to vets at the VA who’ve been through here, they all sing your praises and say no one else helped them more than you did. I need you on this one.”

Sam paused and for added effect, stuck his lip out in an over exaggerated pout.

“Pretty please Gracie?”

“Ugh why did you have to call me Gracie?” Grace wrinkled her nose, trying not to smile at the stupid puppy dog expression Sam was wearing. He was the only person in the world who was allowed to call her Gracie. Her expression turned serious very quickly though. “I’m not qualified Sam. I can’t just up and leave here, we’re under staffed as it is. If I walk out Dr Asshole can quite easily say I haven’t finished my training either and then I’m stuck trying to find another residency for my final year. Those positions are as rare as rocking horse shit.”

Sam sighed heavily, a guilty expression crossing his face as he reached down and fiddled on the Stark Pad for a few seconds. When he was done, he handed it to Grace without looking at her.

“Wasn’t my idea.”

With a feeling of dread gnawing at her stomach, Grace took the tablet once again. It was an email between Pepper Potts and the Chief Psychiatrist at Bellevue Hospital in New York. Dr Joseph Moore had agreed to let Grace submit her patient cases, the last thing she needed for her final year as a resident. If he found them satisfactory, Grace would be board certified within a week. She had already done her exams, it was just those last few patient cases holding her back.

“This is cheating,” Grace murmured, her eyes tracing over the email a few times to make sure she was believing what was on the tablet. “It still doesn’t change that we’re understaffed and I just can’t up and leave here Sammy. Dr Asshole rarely comes into work and people here really need help.”

Grace nearly began to tick off the patients she currently had, but quickly stopped herself. Sam knew the type of people who came through here. He’d even counselled a lot of them once they left Walter Reed.

“Swipe right,” Sam said, giving Grace a slightly pained smile. “It’s not cheating, its just moving you along. You would have been certified in a month anyway. Just keep reading, don’t say anything until you’ve read everything.”

Grace sighed, wishing for another hit of caffeine. She knew she should be grateful Sam even thought of her, but this was too much. Despite being overworked and severely underpaid, she loved her job. It would take an offer of a lifetime to drag her away from here.

But, she obediently swiped right on the tablet. A Stark Industries employee agreement was the next thing along. It was over 100 pages long, but someone had put a summary of the agreement on the front page. Grace quickly read through the summary, not believing what she was reading. There it was, her offer of a lifetime quite literally sitting in her lap.

Her job title would officially be Avenger Psychiatrist. The job came with a ridiculous 6 figure pay packet, her own apartment in Stark Tower with full use of the facilities there and all the medical benefits she could ever ask for. Her student loans would be paid out upon signing the agreement. She was only contracted for 6 months, and if in that time it didn’t work out, the redundancy package offered was more than enough to live on for the next 10 years. It was an offer that was too good to refuse. Grace sat there, gnawing on her lower lip as she read and reread the summary a few more times just to make sure she was reading it right.

“That was Pepper’s idea,” Sam said, breaking the silence. Grace could only nod and swiped right again to see what was next.

The next document was a lengthy email chain between Pepper and Walter Reed offering them a substantial donation to the psychiatric centre with the provision they hire more residents and a new chief psychiatrist. Grace choked on her own spit at the figure that Pepper had included in the last email as the donation. It was more than enough for the facility to put on the required staff. It meant she could walk away without any guilt. The patients she cared about could get the treatment and attention they deserved. There was already a long list of candidate ready to go, all the Director had to do was tick who he wanted and they’d be there the next day. Generous didn’t come close to describing what Pepper was offering.

“God, she’s making it hard for me to say no,” Grace murmured. She finally pulled her eyes away from the tablet and back up to Sam. “If this is my salary packet, I really want to see yours.”

“Lets just say that Mama’s Christmas present last year was me paying off the mortgage,” Sam chuckled, relaxing from the stiff posture he’d been holding. “Tony has a lot of money, but he’s also very generous to the people who help him. This isn’t just helping Barnes, you’ll be helping the whole team. There’s a lot of demons hanging around, but there’s no one else I’d trust more than you to help them.”

Grace looked down at the email again with the promises all there in little black letters. The offer was conditional of her acceptance at Stark Industries. It was bribery of the highest level for Grace. She was pretty sure if she didn’t accept Pepper’s offer than the Director of Walter Reed would personally come down here, pack her bags and kick her out of the office. This was not how she thought her morning was going to turn out when she’d woken up in a puddle of drool.

“Do you think Stark will pay for me breaking my lease?” Grace asked, feeling like she was torn between excitement and being down right terrified. This was an opportunity of a lifetime, even if there was a lot of coercion into pushing her to say yes.

“Stark has movers ready to pack up your apartment the second I let him know your answer,” Sam chuckled, looking very relieved. “So that’s a yes?”

“Did you read the offer I just got given?” Grace asked with a raised eyebrow. Sam nodded, looking both eager and a little guilty. Grace was sure he had a hand in helping Pepper put it all together. Everything in there was everything Grace could ever ask for. “How can I say no that all of that?”

“That was kind of the idea,” Sam chuckled again, bouncing up from his seat on the couch. “So, are you ready?”

“For what?” Grace asked, climbing to her feet slowly. Her back was already bitching at her for the uncomfortable position its got forced into last night. It was going to be downright horrible by the end of the day. But she only needed to get through today. Tomorrow was the start of a new life.

“To meet the Winter Soldier. The Quinjet is waiting on the front lawn to take us back to New York.”


	2. Chapter 2

“Fuck me.”

There wasn’t much else Grace could say to the scene in front of her. If the day hadn’t already been overwhelming with the job offer. Actually being in Stark Tower and being separated by 4 inches of glass from the Winter Soldier was a whole new level of crazy. 

“Yeah, it’s weird isn’t it?” Sam hadn’t left her side since she stepped out of her now old office. It’d been a blur to Grace stepping onto the sleek jet which looked like something out of a sci-fi movie with nothing more than the overnight bag Hannah had given her and her phone. The rest of her apartment would be packed up, furniture put in storage and the personal belongings delivered the next day. She hadn’t even gotten to her room yet, she was taken straight to where Barnes was being held. 

The cell where he was being held was basic, but functional. The bed looked like it hadn’t been touched. Either that or Barnes was really good at making his bed. A chair sat beside a small bookcase. Most of the books had been haphazardly thrown on the floor, but a few were still in their place. A TV sat behind inches thick bulletproof glass and according to the notes she’d read on the brief plane trip here, was voiced activated. Another door led to a bathroom, but was currently closed. In the middle of the room sat the Winter Soldier himself. The floor to roof length glass was one way and soundproof, but somehow Grace felt like he was staring right at her. The dead, cold gaze in his eyes made goosebumps go up her arms.

“He doesn’t speak to anyone,” Sam said, his own gaze fixed on the soldier in front of them. “Aside from the occasional tantrum like you saw earlier, he doesn’t act out either. Most of the time he just sits there, staring at the glass. Occasionally he’ll pick up a book but it gets put down pretty quickly.”

Grace chewed on her lower lip, pondering her next move. Her brain was buzzing with a few hundred ideas of what to do next. She was wading into unknown territory. The information they had on Barnes and his time spent as an assassin with still sketchy. According to Sam, they were still digging through all the HYDRA files dumped on the internet to try and find somewhere to start with him. So far all the date on him was buried so deep under masses of encryptions, even Tony Stark was having problems getting any of it. Some of the newer notes was available to her, but nothing dating back beyond the last year. It was still an impressive file, the small amount they had though.

“Does he sleep? Eat?” Grace asked, fumbling to find a baseline. If it was anyone else, she’d been in the room doing an assessment right away. But her good day didn’t need to be ruined by being strangled to death if Barnes had a brain snap. 

“No.” Sam shook his head. “Any food he’s given is left untouched. He’ll drink the water and nothing else. No one has seen him sleep yet.”

“God he must be starving,” Grace mused. Like everyone else on the planet, she’d been fascinated with Steve Rogers and the super soldier serum effects on the body. An enhanced metabolism was one draw back of the process. It’d been noted that Rogers needed three times the daily calorie intake as a normal person just to keep his body functioning, let alone fit. If Barnes had anything close to the same serum effects as Rogers, his body would be very unhappy right now with the lack of calories. Barnes looked leaner than he should under the basic but dirty sweatpants and shirt he was wearing. 

“Steve even tried his old favourite food to try and entice him to eat,” Sam shrugged. “Nothing. It just sat there going cold. Damn shame too, that was some good spaghetti and meatballs.”

Grace didn’t respond. She stood there, watching Barnes and tapping her index finger against her lip. If he was a normal person, they’d put a feeding tube in him to make sure he didn’t starve to death. But that wasn’t going to work in this case. An enhanced metabolism also came with the problems of burning through drugs at an exponential rate. Grace doubted they could keep him sedated long enough to even get the tube in. If they did, he’d probably rip it out within seconds. She mentally scratched that idea off her list. 

There had to be something she could do though. If she couldn’t get him to eat or sleep, her time here was going to be cut short pretty quickly. Lack of sleep was one good way to induce a pretty severe psychosis. Barnes was dangerous enough without losing his mind completely due to lack of sleep. There was something she could try, but it felt so simple that it couldn’t possibly be the answer. She’d seen a psychiatrist do it when she was a lowly intern. Working with soldiers did have a certain mental mindset that could be worked to the doctor’s advantage. 

“Does this thing have a microphone to the room?” Grace asked, quickly deciding her plan was worth a try. 

“No,” Sam said sarcastically, rolling his eyes. “We’re in one of the most technological advanced buildings in the world and the holding cell doesn’t have any way of commenting with the outside.”

“You’re such an asshole,” Grace muttered, not feeling the least bit embarrassed. It’d already been a long, weird day and she was allowed to ask a stupid question or two. “What do I press?”

“You don’t,” Sam explained. “JARVIS opens up the microphone anytime you address him. There’s a half second delay, but you don’t actually have to press anything.”

“Good to know,” Grace nodded, impressed with the ease of everything in the room so far. “Go get me something for him to eat. I have an idea.”

“Sure.” Sam didn’t move, instead he turned his attention to the ceiling. “Hey JARVIS? Can you send up something to eat for Barnes? And some lunch for Grace and I.”

“Of course,” the disembodied British accented voice from the ceiling made Grace jump in surprise. “It will be there in 5 minutes.”

Grace had been briefed on the AI that ran everything in the Tower. But to hear him was another thing entirely. She found herself staring up at the ceiling in surprise and amazement. 

“Yeah it takes some getting used to,” Sam said, the amusement clear all over his face. “So what’s your plan of attack here?”

“Something that might sound really stupid.” Grace scrunched her nose up. “But I’ve seen it work before. Anything is worth a shot right now.”

In the short time Grace had been pondering what to do, Barnes had gotten off the floor and was pacing the room again. When he went past the glass he didn’t bother to look in their direction. Back and forth he went so quickly, it made Grace dizzy to watch him. But she couldn’t help but track his movement. Even in his lean state, Bucky Barnes was an incredible human specimen. His metal arm glinted dangerously under the artificial light as he flexed his hand. The dark stubble on his face didn’t take away from the sharp cheekbones and strong jaw. If anything it enhanced the blue in his eyes. There was no denying that James Barnes was a handsome man. Even under all the scruff and terrifying cold expression. 

“Captain Rogers is at the door requesting to be let in,” JARVIS’ voice made Grace jump, again, and pulled her thoughts back into what she was about to do. Not the assassin stalking around his room like a caged panther. 

“Thanks JARVIS,” Sam said, completely at ease. “He can come in.”

Grace felt a flutter of nerves. She was about to meet Steve Rogers. The one and only Captain America. She wasn’t a vain person, but right now she’d happily kill for a fresh coat of lipstick, a hairbrush and some breath mints. No one wanted to meet Captain America with coffee breath and frizzy hair. But Grace knew she didn’t have that luxury, so she smiled instead and hoped she looked somewhat respectable. She was here for her expertise on PTSD, not to be a pretty face and impress Captain America. 

The door opened and in came the 6’2, 220lbs of all American golden boy. Grace felt her mouth go dry at the sight of Steve Rogers. Photos did not do the man justice. He was gorgeous, all muscles, blond hair and blue eyes. Carrying a tray of food and dressed in casual cargo shorts and a t-shirt didn’t quite match the picture of America’s golden child. He looked like a very normal person right now, not the superhero Avenger the media made him out to be. Grace’s nerves quickly disappeared and she put on a more genuine smile. She had to keep reminding herself that despite their super star status, the Avengers were still normal people.

As normal as a group of super soldiers, spies, billionaires and a god could be anyway. 

“It’s a pleasure Captain,” Grace said, holding her hand out to shake. “Dr Grace Anderson.”

“Steve is fine Ma’am.” Steve balanced the tray onto one hand and took Grace’s offered hand, shaking it firmly. “Thank you for coming on such short notice.”

“You’re welcome,” Grace said with a smile. Unlike a lot of men, Steve didn’t shake her hand limply. His grip was as firm as her own. “Please call me Grace.”

“I hate to be rude,” Steve said with an apologetic smile. He certainly didn’t waste any time getting to the point. He looked tired and frustrated beyond his polite smile. “But we’ve tried to give him food. He doesn’t touch any of it.”

“He may not either, but I have an idea.” Grace held her ground, keeping her voice firm despite her own reservation about the plan. “When I was an intern doing my psych rotation, there was a soldier who came in with severe psychosis after being held by an enemy force. The only way to get him to do anything was to give him an order.”

Steve shot a look at Sam looking for his approval. Sam only shrugged in response.

“She’s the doctor,” Sam said pointedly. “Don’t look at me, I have like 3 less degrees than her and a whole lot less experience.”

“One less degree,” Grace corrected Sam. “Besides, the worst he can do is throw the food away. It’s somewhere to start.”

Grace also wanted to see what Barnes would do as well. Sitting there staring at the wall wasn’t helping her figure anything about him. During the conversation with Steve, Barnes had gone back to sitting on the floor. He’d done it so quickly, Grace had completely missed it. 

“You’re the doctor.” Steve still looked uncertain as he put the tray down near the window. A compartment appeared and the tray disappeared into Barnes’s room. Grace looked at where the tray had just been in slight envy. Inventions like that would have made her life a lot easier at Walter Reed. Grace couldn’t remember how many times she had food trays flung at her by angry patients during her earlier years. 

Barnes made no effort to move towards the food. Grace noticed his eyes were staring at the tray though nothing else on his body had moved. It was a simple meal. Soup and sandwiches. The tomato soup had smelt amazing to Grace, her stomach was rumbling from it. Barnes with his enhanced senses would be getting that smell times a thousand. He had to be starving. Grace could tell by the way he was looking at the food, he really wanted it. But there was something holding him back.

“Asset,” Grace spoke into the open mic. Her mouth went dry as Barnes’ hard stare turned back to her. Using what HYDRA called him felt awkward and almost disrespectful in her mind. But she needed to do it to see if this would work. “You are to eat what I just gave you. If you want more, you’re to ask for it. Do you understand your order?”

“Yes.”

The three people in the room jumped in surprise at the gravelly voice. Barnes got up off the floor and in a few fluid strides pick up the tray. Returning to his spot on the floor, he sat down and started to devour the food like a starved person. Grace blew out a relieved sigh, that had been a very lucky guess. But that little tidbit was going to make her life easier.

“When you have finished eating, I want you to sleep for at least 8 hours.” Grace added, wondering how far she could push his orders. “More if you feel your body needs it. I will be here when you wake up. Do you understand?”

“Yes Ma’am,” Barnes said around a mouthful of sandwich. The angry and tight posture he held before relaxed as he inhaled the food in front of him. Grace felt herself breath a little better seeing the quiet ease he just accepted the orders. It had almost been too easy. She knew it wouldn’t always be like that but a smooth first step was always a promising sign.

“I never would have thought to do that,” Steve’s voice shook Grace from her musing. She glanced over the Steve who was shaking his head, looking surprised at the scene behind the glass. “Giving him orders like he still works for HYDRA feels wrong.”

“Wrong or right, there is a certain mindset with military types,” Grace explained. “They thrive on orders and when their basic mentality breaks down. Falling back into that mindset can help establish some routine and also gives us the ability to treat their basic needs.”

The look on Steve’s face made Grace feel uneasy. After the initial surprise had worn off, he didn’t look happy about what Grace had just done. But she was prepared to stand her ground and defend her choices. Right now Barnes was eating and that was more than she’d hoped for to begin with. 

“You’re the Doctor.” Steve offered a smile that wasn’t quite genuine. “When can I go in and talk to him?”

“That’s a loaded question,” Grace said, mentally trying to find the right way to put this. “Right now, all I can tell you is not right now.”

Grace paused, watching Steve’s jaw muscles tighten in frustration. She felt sorry for him. What he was going through wasn’t easy. Getting his best friend back after so many years thinking he was dead but it not being the person he knew. 

“But, this is a good sign,” Grace added gently to soothe his ruffled feathers. “Once he gets some sleep, I can try and see what we’re dealing with a bit more and go from there.”

“So, in other words you have no idea,” Steve said carefully. He was trying hard to be polite, but there was an edge to his voice.

“I have no idea,” Grace confirmed, holding his gaze. If nothing else, she hoped Steve would appreciate her honestly. “I’m a little out of my depth here to be honest. Everything I’m trying is going to be a first. Its like trying to re-program a buggy computer you’ve never seen or used before. You know the basics of how it all should work. But there’s always going to be something that stumps you and you find a way to work around it.”

It felt like an eternity to Grace before Steve spoke again. She didn’t miss the small slump his shoulders, even though his expression remained stoic.

“I appreciate you moving your entire life to help us Dr Anderson,” Steve said with a smile that didn’t reach his eyes. He put his hand out for Grace to shake. “I hope you enjoy your time here. If you’ll excuse me.”

“Of course,” Grace said quickly, shaking Steve’s hand again. She didn’t bother to correct him on her name. Steve and Sam exchanged a murmured goodbye, and like that they were alone again. Grace waited until the door clicked shut before turning to Sam. She felt her own shoulders slump in relief that she hadn’t been kicked out on her ass within the first half an hour. Pissing off Captain America on her first day could be a career ending move on her behalf. 

“I don’t think he liked that answer,” Grace said dryly, pushing a strand of loose hair behind her ear.

“No, I don’t think so either,” Sam chuckled. “But they asked for your expert opinion and you gave it. He doesn’t have to like it. It just needs to work on Barnes.”

“Yeah, no pressure at all.” Grace couldn’t help the sarcasm in her voice as she turned her attention back to Barnes. He was eating his soup slower than the sandwich, but it was still disappearing quickly. “The trick here is to see if he asks for more.”

“Speaking of food, I’m going to go find our lunch,” Sam said, giving Grace a small squeeze on her shoulder. “I’m guessing you’ll want more coffee? I’ll get some extra stuff sent down here in case Barnes want it.”

“Stupid question,” Grace said with a small laugh. “I always want coffee. Go, I’m sure I’ll be fine here. I have my laptop and his notes to keep me occupied.”

To prove her point, Grace settled down onto the overstuffed lounge in the viewing room, kicking off her shoes and tucking her legs underneath her. She looked up at Sam, quirking an eyebrow up at him. 

“Fine, I’ll be your little errand boy,” Sam said playfully. “I’ll take you up to your room after lunch.”

“Sure.” Grace turned her full attention back to Barnes. He’d finished his soup now and was drinking from his water bottle. He’d put everything back on the tray in the same order it’d been given to him. As soon as he finished the water, he did the same with the empty bottle. Grace watched curiously as he rose up off the floor in one fluid motion and walked towards the wall. 

Barnes stared at the spot where the tray had come out. Almost gingerly, he touched the wall with his flesh hand. The hidden compartment popped out and he silently put the tray back where it’d come from, handling it like it was made of glass. He stood there watching intently at the tray disappeared before turning on his heel and marching straight for the bed. In a movement nearly too quick for Grace to follow, he flopped down on the bed face first. Grace felt a smile pull at her lips. He was looking very much like the young man he should be and not the Winter Soldier in the unorganised position of his body. Exactly 35 seconds later, he was fast asleep. The light automatically dimmed, leaving only enough for Grace to see the outline of his body. She let out a breath and sagged back into the couch. The relief she felt would no doubt no short lived, but her results for today were more than she hoped for. 

While Barnes slept, Grace started to read his file instead of doing a skim read like she’d done on the trip here. Sam came and went with lunch, knowing that he wasn’t going to get a conversation out of her while she had so much research to do. Despite being incomplete, the file for Barnes still took Grace hours to get through. She only got up for bathroom and coffee breaks, very grateful both were in the room with her. If nothing else, she was more comfortable here doing observation that she’d ever been anywhere else. Grace would have happily curled up on the couch and slept for a few hours if she didn’t have so much reading to get through. It was late into the evening by the time he woke again. Grace hadn’t noticed the change in him and fell off the couch in surprise at the sound of his gravelly voice.

“I require more food Ma’am,” Barnes asked in a quiet voice as Grace picked herself up off the ground. There was a small hesitation before Barnes spoke again. “And use of the ablutions.”

Grace was very grateful for the summary she’d read a few hours ago of his last few days here. Her first thought automatically went to him not using the bathroom at all. But he’d been using the toilet, just not the shower. Grace didn’t need to see JARVIS’ reports of Barnes’ activity to know that. It was pretty clear to see how unkempt he was looking at the moment. Because of the good progress from earlier, Grace decided to try to see if she could push the boundaries a little more before the day was done. 

“You can use the shower when you feel like you need it,” Grace said carefully, settling back down onto the couch. “Food will be sent up as soon as you’re done.”

Grace knew straight away it was a bad idea to give him the choice. Barnes froze on the spot, like a deer caught in the headlights. Grace mentally smacked herself. One good moment didn’t mean things would magically be fixed. She knew that and couldn’t believe she’d just made such a rookie mistake.

“Correction,” Grace said quickly. “Have a shower, 15 minutes maximum time allowed.”

“Yes Ma’am.”

The change in Barnes body posture was immediate. He didn’t relax, but with the order he was given he had a purpose. He immediately got up off the bed and marched straight for the bathroom. Grace wasn’t surprised that he didn’t close the door behind him. Modesty, like she knew it, would be a foreign concept for him. 

“JARVIS can I get some dinner sent here please?” Grace looked to the ceiling, feeling her eyes starting to burn. She checked her watch. It was 10.44pm. Barnes had slept for hours and Grace was fast running out of energy. She knew she couldn’t sit here all night watching him. But she wasn't comfortable in leaving him either. After sleeping for so long, Barnes probably wouldn’t be going back to sleep anytime soon. The couch was comfortable enough for her to nap on if she felt like she needed it. 

“Of course Dr Anderson,” JARVIS answered instantly. “Do you have any requests?”

Grace’s mind went straight to whatever would be the unhealthiest choice she could think of. Her mind always went that way after a long day at work. 

“Screw it,” Grace mumbled under her breath after only a few seconds. Today had been a weird day so she deserved something good. “Pizza, Meatlovers with extra sausage. A dozen Krispy Kreme as well.”

Grace hesitated, looking into the now empty room. She knew should insist on something healthy for Barnes. But at the moment, any calories would be good for him. From the snippets of uncovered mission reports she had, HYDRA hadn’t been fussy on a diet for him. He was simply given whatever his handler chose at the time. It was very strange reading those notes, especially from the last person to deal with him. The SHIELD agent turned HYDRA named Brock Rumlow had worse handwriting than Grace did. He didn’t seem to have a problem with feeding HYDRA’s number one assassin McDonalds when on a mission near civilisation. Grace would have paid good money to see that happen. 

“Better make it a double order for Barnes as well.” Grace didn’t take long to make up her mind. She had no idea what Barnes would eat, but she doubted he’d be fussy. If he was, she could just order him to eat it. 

“Of course, the order has been placed and it will be here in 10 minutes,” JARVIS’ computer voice almost sounded amused by Grace’s choice of food. “Do you require anything else for yourself or Sergeant Barnes?”

“No, thank you JARIVS.” Grace felt awkward beyond belief to be talking to the computer. “I appreciate your help.”

“You are most welcome Dr Anderson,” JARVIS replied pleasantly. “Will you be staying the night in here, or shall I ask Mr Wilson to bring you to your room?”

“I’ll stay here.” Grace didn’t hesitate on that question. She wanted to be there if Barnes needed anything at all. Grace didn’t care if it was something as simple as asking for another bottle of water. Barnes needed to know he could rely on her to provide him with basic needs before any trust would be established. “If I fall asleep, can you wake me up if Barnes needs anything?”

Grace was sure some greasy pizza could keep her awake for a few more hours. But the 3am slump always hit her hard when on night shift. 

“There are blankets and pillows in the storage cupboard to your left,” JARVIS answered promptly. “Captain Rogers has been making use of the couch and made sure the cupboard was stocked well.”

That wasn’t a surprise to Grace. Despite having an AI to monitor Barnes constantly, Steve would want to be here for every second of it. She was mildly surprised that Steve hadn’t come back to check on the progress though. She inwardly cringed at that train of thought hit her. She really hoped she hadn’t offended him so much he didn’t want to be around her. 

“JARVIS, is Captain Rogers available to speak to?” Grace asked after a few seconds of contemplation on the matter. She wanted to smooth over any ruffled feathers before things got too out of hand. Although Barnes was her main concern, the entire team would also be seeing her once things were more settled. Grace didn’t want to deal with a brick wall from Steve right away just because they got off on the wrong foot.

“The team, minus Mr Wilson has been called away on a mission as of 1535 this afternoon,” JARVIS said smoothly. “I’m able to contact them in an emergency, but they are otherwise on radio silence.”

Grace slumped in relief. That was one hurdle she didn’t have to deal with right now. The selfish part of her was glad to avoid it for at least the rest of the night and be able to focus on the task at hand with Barnes. She turned her attention back to the glass window as a movement caught her attention. Barnes walked out of the bathroom, drying his hair with what looked to be a hand towel. He was completely naked save for another towel draped over his shoulder. There was still droplets of water clinging to his muscular body as Barnes walked to the bed.

Grace closed her eyes, sucking in a deep breath of surprise. That was more of an eyeful than she expected. As nice as a sight it was, Grace really didn’t need to be seeing Barnes strut around naked.

“Underwear needs to stay on at all times when you’re not in the bathroom,” Grace fought to keep her voice even. She thought her days of being embarrassed over naked patients were long behind her. It turned out naked Super Soldiers could still bring a light blush to her cheeks. “Get dressed, food will be here in a few minutes.”

“Yes Ma’am.”


	3. Chapter 3

Grace rubbed her burning eyes, not daring to glance at the clock and kept her eyes firmly glued to the computer screen. She knew it was already morning and she hadn’t been to sleep yet. 3 days after the first shower incident and Grace had only slept when Barnes slept. That was starting to be less and less as his body caught up on the much needed rest. But Grace wasn’t a super soldier. As much as she wanted to, running on 2 hours of sleep and a few cat naps here and there hurt more than she wanted to admit. She hadn’t made it to her room yet, despite Sam’s heavy protests. But the couch was comfortable enough and the bathroom attached to the room was sufficient to have a quick shower and freshen up. Any second now and Sam would be coming in the door with breakfast. As the thought left her head, the door opened and Grace fought back a smile. Sam was right on time. Grace kept reading some of the new files on Barnes that had been unencrypted a few hours ago. 

A cold, wet nose nudging Grace’s leg made her jump in surprise. Her laptop hit the floor with a clatter and a small shriek escaped, despite Grace’s best efforts not to. She sat on the couch, clutching at her chest willing her pounding heart to stop trying to jump out of her chest. She looked down in surprise at whatever had just touched her.

At her feet sat a dog with a purple collar on his neck. He was holding a matching leash in his mouth, wagging his tail hard as he looked up at Grace. The dog was no discernible breed, just a mixed mutt with a shaggy golden coat. He was also missing an eye.

“Oh hello there,” Grace grinned, reaching down to ruffle the dog’s head. She loved dogs. If she didn’t work so many crazy hours she’d probably be one of those crazy single ladies with 35 dogs. “What’s your name?”

“Woof.” The dog replied, dropping his leash and coming to rest his head on her lap. Grace spied a tag on his collar and gently moved it around until she could read it.

“Lucky,” Grace chuckled, scratching the dogs ears. “Fitting name. Aren’t you a beautiful boy?”

Lucky whined a little, pushing his head further into Grace’s hand. 

“Wanna come help me?” Grace patted the couch next to her. It was a big couch and Lucky wasn’t a huge dog. “I promise I won’t tell anyone.”

Lucky whined again, taking a step back. He picked up his leash in his mouth and dropped it into Grace’s lap.

“You want to go for a walk?” Grace asked, feeling very torn. She didn’t want to leave Barnes, who was currently sitting on his bed reading ‘The Hobbit’. But Lucky was being very cute. He gently nudged her hand again, licking her fingers.

“Gross,” Grace giggled, pulling her fingers away from the slobbery tongue. It only took another nudge from Lucky for her to make up her mind.

“Asset, I’m leaving the room,” Grace made her voice as firm as possible. “If you need anything JARVIS will assist you. Speak to the ceiling and he’ll be there.”

For the first time in a few days, Grace got something other than a blank stare from Barnes. Right now he was looking at the glass with a raised eyebrow. It was gone as quickly as it came. Barnes’ face turned back to a blank expression and nodded before turning back to his book. 

“Ready to go boy?” Grace asked, getting up off the couch. Lucky barked, spinning around in excited circles. As soon as Grace held up his leash, he stayed mostly still. Except his whole body was wriggling with excitement. “You’re so cute. Who’s a good puppy?”

Lucky barked again as Grace’s baby talk. Grace quickly yanked on the pair of sneakers she had close by. She was dressed in a pair of yoga pants and a tank top. No one but Sam was around so she didn’t feel to need to stay in a suit all day. Especially when she was doing little more than sitting on the couch, reading or making notes. 

She made it 6 feet down the hallway with Lucky before finding Sam. He was leaning against the wall, looking very proud of himself.

“Traitor.” Grace grumbled, walking right past him. “Its mean of you to use an adorable dog to do your dirty work.”

“Hey, it got you out of that room.” Sam was not apologetic at all. “Besides, Lucky is very cute. Aren’t you boy?”

Sam reached down and ruffled the hair on Lucky’s head. Lucky looked up with his eye half closed, tongue hanging out. The look on his face made Grace laugh. She could deal with being dragged away from her work but a cute dog.

“Who’s dog?” Grace asked as they walked to the elevator.

“Barton’s,” Sam explained, hitting the button to take them down to the lobby. “He found him a few years ago on a mission while he was still in SHIELD. It’s a running joke that Barton is always bringing home the strays.”

Clint Barton. Grace didn’t need to search far in her memory for the man in question. The ex SHIELD assassin who’s primary weapon was a bow and arrow wasn’t someone you could forget in a hurry. Along with his partner, the ex KGB spy, Natasha Romanoff. Grace would be lying if she said she wasn’t nervous about meeting them. But she was also fascinated. Both were normal people with extraordinary skill sets. Grace had seen the grainy footage of both of them during the Battle of New York. Barton’s skill with a bow was nothing she’d ever seen before. Natasha’s deadly grace, moving like a ballerina but destroying everything in her path, took Grace’s breath away. Along with the nerves of meeting them, she was also a little excited. 

“Well, he definitely has good taste in the strays he brings home, doesn’t he?” Grace addressed Lucky with the last bit of her sentence. Lucky wagged his tail, looking up at them both with a big doggy grin. “Where are we going?”

“Central Park,” Sam said, giving Grace a small grin as she pulled a disgusted face. “Come on, its like a mile walk there. It won’t hurt you. The fresh air will do you good. We’ll even stop for coffee on the way.”

Grace was blessed with a decent metabolism. She wasn’t fat, but she definitely wasn’t as toned as she could be. She made an effort to try and get to the gym a few times a week. But with her work schedule, it wasn’t always possible. She also wasn’t as dedicated as she could be unless she ate pizza for lunch and dinner every day for a week straight.

“Fine, you said the magic word.” Grace gave in with a small huff. The elevator doors opened silently, putting them into the main lobby of Stark Tower. No one batted an eyelid at Grace’s scruffy dressing, Sam looking equally as casual and walking out with a dog. One of the most technological advanced building in the world and Grace was wearing yoga pants. It was a strange sight amongst the designer suits and immaculate marble interior.

Spring was well and truely in New York. The morning air was warm, verging on the side of hot. The humidity hanging around promised an afternoon storm. It didn’t detract from the beautiful day. Grace wouldn't admit it, but the sun and fresh air felt really good. Not that the New York air was that fresh.

“How goes your patient?” Sam wasted no time in asking.

“You could at least buy me a drink before asking such personal questions,” Grace teased, sending Sam a grin. He said nothing in return, only grinning back, waiting for her reply. Grace tried not to sigh. To an outside it’d look like there was no progress at all. But at least Sam knew her better than most. 

“I’m happy where he’s at,” Grace sad carefully. “It may not seem like much, but he’s eating and sleeping. That’s a really good start. I think there was a trace of sass in his face this morning. But it was gone as quickly as it came.”

“Really?” Sam looked over at her, eyebrows raised in surprise. 

“It might have been my imagination.” Grace deflected. “I’m going through all his files and reading all about the Winter Solider. But I have no idea of the man Bucky Barnes is.”

“You’re gonna have to ask Steve on that one,” Sam confirmed what Grace already knew. She nodded in agreement. She’d come to that conclusion herself at 2am this morning. The Avengers still weren’t back from their mission yet though. So she’d have to be patient and keep going at the pace she was.

“He picked out his own book this morning though,” Grace added, nearly forgetting that one small piece of information. She’d gone to the toilet and when she had come back Barnes was sitting on the bed reading. “The Hobbit.”

“That book was released in the 30’s.” Sam looked thoughtful. “Maybe its something too?”

“Or it’s nothing.” Grace countered with a shrug. “Hell, I don’t even know whats in there.”

Judging by the bookcase, Grace’s guess was it was full of literary classics. She’d spied Moby Dick and War and Peace in there. But hadn’t paid much attention to the rest of the books. The pair fell silent as they walked along the busy New York streets. Lucky bounced along at the end of his leash, sniffing at every crack in the sidewalk. His antics made Grace smile. He was very well behaved, despite his obvious bundle of energy. They stopped at Starbucks for a coffee hit, Sam going inside and Grace waited patiently with Lucky. Grace absently stroked Lucky’s ears as she watched Sam flirt with the barista inside. The curly brunette was very pretty and seemed to enjoy Sam’s undivided attention while she made their coffee. Grace smiled, but rolled her eyes at her friends very obvious flirting. 

Grace wouldn’t lie and say Sam was unattractive. She was well aware of her good looking best friend. But her brain never processed that the boy she grew up with was anything but her best friend. Being a superhero made him even more irresistible to the rest of the female population. Falcon might not be a household name like Captain America. But Sam never lacked for followers or female company. Grace wouldn’t be surprised if he got an ‘Avenger’ discount at Starbucks. Or ‘My ass is perfection’ discount, as Sam told her once when she asked why they got a coffee so cheap.

It was no surprise Sam was in and out within less than 3 minutes, along with a number now written on his hand.

“Find another Hero Humper did you?” Grace asked, taking her extra shot flat white from Sam’s hands. She had to ignore Lucky’s pleading look at her coffee cup. He was already full of energy. 

“Crude,” Sam chastised her with a shake of his finger. “You better watch your mouth or both our Mama’s will wash it out with soap.”  
“Only if you tattle on me,” Grace scolded. “And if I recall, you were the one getting your mouth washed out with soap. Not me. Don’t change the subject.”

“No, she has no idea about my superhero identity, which is nice,” Sam said with a small smirk, as they continued walking down the street as a leisurely pace. “What do you think about a lunch date?”

“You mean sidekick identity?” Grace teased, knowing exactly how much that irked Sam. Especially coming from her. “And lunch sounds nice. It's not as formal as dinner and for someone who works in a coffee shop, she wouldn't want to go for coffee. Pick somewhere that you can go for a walk afterwards.”

“Thank you for being somewhat helpful.” Sam ignored Grace’s jibe about being a sidekick. “Speaking of dates, do I need to ask how your love life is?”

“Run on batteries,” Grace admitted with a small laugh, knowing that was not what Sam would want to hear. Sam pulled a disgusted face at her answer. “Hey, you asked.”

“No, I tried poking a reaction out of you and it didn’t work,” Sam grumbled, but the corners of his lips kept pulling up into a smile. “Don’t pull your psychiatrist shit with me.”

“The only difference between you and me is, well, was my horrendous student debt, and I can prescribe and administer drugs. You can’t.” Grace reminded Sam for the millionth time. “And I sound way cooler being Dr Anderson. You still have to do your PhD to be Dr Wilson.”

“I’m the Falcon, can’t get any cooler than that.” Sam teased back straight away, his face stretching into a grin.

“Hawkeye sounds cooler than Falcon, he’s the original bird boy in your boy band anyway.” Grace grinned with Sam, her teasing nothing but good humour between close friends. 

“If you call me a sidekick again, I’ll kick your ass,” Sam cut in with the playful threat. “And I dare you to call Barton that. Make sure you let me know what kind of a funeral you want first.”

“I’ll just tell him it was your idea, laugh when you get your ass beaten,” Grace said with a sweet smile. “I’ll even tape it and send it back to everyone at home. Might even send it to a few of your loud mouthed buddies at the VA. I’m sure it’d do the rounds there too.”

“Yeah you would too,” Sam grumbled, but he was still grinning. “Aren’t you lucky that drunken striptease you did on Riley never got recorded.”

Grace laughed. She couldn’t help it. Her wilder, party days were short lived, but she made very good use of her limited time. That had been just before Sam and Riley had gone on their first tour. There’d been a going away party which had very quickly turned into a drunken mess early on in the night. Grace didn’t remember much after the strip tease she was dared to do. She’d never forget the hangover the next day though.

“Poor Riley,” Grace said through her laughter. “He was so embarrassed about it too. He thought you were going to kick his ass for it.”

All of Sam’s friends in the Army were quickly told Grace was an absolute no-go area for any of them. Riley’s strip tease had been the closest any of them had come to ever touching Grace.

“I might have pushed him off the plane before he was ready for it a few times,” Sam admitted, not looking the least bit embarrassed. “He hated that.”

Grace couldn’t think of an answer, but she smiled at Sam. It’d taken him a long time to be able to speak about his other best friend so openly. For a while after Riley’s death, she didn’t think Sam would ever get over his loss. But little by little, Grace slowly helped put the pieces of Sam’s life back together. She couldn’t be prouder of the man standing next to her today. 

“Here we are,” Sam announced, opening the gate to the dog park they’d arrived at. Grace had barely noticed the walk there. She’d been too wrapped up in their easy conversation. It’d been far too long since they’d had a quiet moment like this together. Lucky wriggled with impatience as Grace unclipped his collar. As soon as the leash was free, Lucky bounded off with an excited bark, heading straight for the small group of dogs already there.

Sam and Grace found a bench to sit on while they both enjoyed their coffee. Grace watched Lucky bound around like a fool, barking at the other dogs and quite often stealing the ball that was being thrown around. He was at least a good boy and always brought it straight back to the owner of the ball.

“He’s such a dork,” Grace laughed as Lucky went to catch the ball. Only to miss it entirely and nearly face-plant into the fence.

“Takes after his owner,” Sam laughed with her. “For someone who has breath taking archery skills, Barton is a bit of a walking disaster.”

“I’m a bit nervous about meeting everyone,” Grace admitted a few moments of silence. 

“You’ll be fine.” Sam was quick to reassure her. “You don’t take anyone’s shit. Be yourself and you’ll find you fit in better than you realise. Be mindful of Thor though. He likes to hug.”

“He what?” Grace wasn’t sure she heard correctly.

“He’s a hugger,” Sam repeated with a small chuckle. “He also acts like someone from Shakespeare. Expect to be called Lady Grace.”

“Lady Grace sounds pretty awesome.” Grace looked over to Sam with a smile. “I could get used to that actually. It’s not every day I get hugged by a Norse God either.”

“There ain’t nothing lady like about you though.” Sam elbowed Grace playfully. She winced as he hit his mark a little too firmly. “Oh the stories I could tell.”

“Right back at you Sammy,” Grace said with a wink, elbowing him back. She hit him hard enough that Sam grunted. “I’ll even get your Mama to send over all the baby photos if you want to start bringing out the stories about me. Who else do I need to watch out for?”

“Natasha,” Sam’s quick reply wasn’t a surprise to Grace. “She will get you so drunk you’ll be hungover for a week. Pepper, Jane and Natasha have a ladies club happening. Its become a rite of passage for the ladies to get trashed when they feel the need to. There’s no escaping from them either. Just smile, nod and accept your fate.”

“I can’t even remember the last time I drank so much I got drunk,” Grace said with a small frown, trying to stretch her memory back. It would have been back while she was still in med school. “It probably wouldn’t take much. But I will take your advice and enjoy myself while I’m at it.”

Extending her small social circle wasn’t a bad thing in Grace’s mind. The Avengers seemed like a very close knit family. Trying to work with them without being part of their social structure would be like trying to break down a concrete wall with a toothpick.

“Good plan.” Sam nodded his approval, draining the last of his coffee. “Do you think the crazy dog is all run out by now?”

Lucky was rolling in a patch of grass, tongue hanging out of his mouth looking like he was the happiest dog in the world right now. When he got up, his gold coat had grass stains all over it. 

“Dibs on not giving him bath,” Grace laughed at the green stained dog. Lucky looked so pleased with himself as he trotted back to Sam and Grace. He obediently plonked himself down at Grace’s feet, looking at up her with a big doggy grin. “Awww, you’re so damn cute.”

Grace reached down and ruffled Lucky’s ears. Despite not wanting to leave the room, Grace was enjoying the fresh air and having a few moments to decompress with Sam. They hadn't been able to sit and banter with each other for what seemed like a very long time. The sun was warm without being overly hot. Still, Grace’s mind couldn't help but to turn back to the work waiting for her back at Stark Tower. There’d been another thought in the early hours of the morning. It was one Sam probably wasn’t going to like.

“I’m going to have to go in there very soon,” Grace started carefully. Sam looked over at her, cocking an eyebrow but remained silent. “Sooner rather than later.”

“Well you don’t go in there by yourself,” Sam said firmly. HIs good mood quickly gone, replaced by a hard stare. “You wait until Cap is here, or Thor. They’re the only 2 who can deal with Barnes if shit goes wrong.”

“I’m not dumb Sammy.” Grace resisted the urge to roll her eyes at her best friend’s instant protectiveness. She’d been doing this job long enough to know when she needed muscle to back her up. She wasn’t afraid to admit or ask for it either. “I’ll wait for my muscle before I go in.”

“Good.” Sam relaxed instantly. “You don’t need to be getting hurt. Come on, we should head back.”

Lucky looked up between them at his words, like he understand what was being said. Grace smiled down at the dog, clipping his leash back onto his collar. Sam and Grace got up, leaving the park in comfortable silence. Lucky’s energy seemed to had run out, he was no longer bounding on the end of his leash. He walked quietly beside Grace, occasionally nudging her hand with his nose for a pat. Grace was more than happy to scratch his nose, or ruffle his ears as they walked along. The morning quickly growing uncomfortable warm and muggy. Grace was relieved when they came back to the tower. The air conditioning was a blast of cool relief of her face.

As soon as they stepped into the elevator, JARVIS crisp voice came from above.

“Captain Rogers wishes to let you know they are on their way home from the mission. All the team are accounted for and uninjured.”

“Thanks JARVIS,” Sam said, the relief clear in his voice. “ETA?”

“1500 local time,” JARVIS replied promptly. There was a slight pause before the AI spoke again. “Captain Rogers also wishes to know how Sergeant Barnes is doing.”

“Eating, sleeping and right where I expect him to be at this point in time,” Grace’s reply was careful, she wasn’t sure exactly what JARVIS would say back to Steve. But her assessment was true. She was prepared to stand her ground if Steve didn’t like the answer. 

“Captain Rogers says thank you.” JARVIS’ words surprised Grace a little. “He appreciates your patience with this matter. Agent Barton is also asking if Lucky’s been to the park since he’s been away?”

“Wouldn’t it be easier just to open a communication line with them?” Grace asked with a quiet murmur. Sam rolled his eyes, nodded in agreement before responding to JARVIS’ question. 

“Lucky has been out to the park and a run every single day,” Sam confirmed for Barton. “He now has Grace wrapped around his paws, so expect to find him sleeping on the couch with her when you get home.”

Grace opened her mouth to deny it. But she looked down and found her hand gently running through Lucky’s fur on top of his head. She’d been stroking him the entire time in the elevator. Grace wrinkled her nose but smiled. Sam was right. There was no denying it. As the elevator door opened, Lucky trotted out, his leash trailing behind him. He went straight for the door of the viewing room, sat and waited for the door the open. When the barely audible click was heard, Lucky nudged the door and went inside.

“Smart dog,” Grace laughed as she turned to Sam. “Thanks for the coffee. Getting out for some fresh air was a good idea.”

“I’m the king of good ideas,” Sam said smugly. “I’ll get breakfast sent up for both of you. “If you need-“

“I will call out,” Grace finished for Sam, knowing exactly what he was going to say. “Lucky and I will be fine.”

It was 9am now. 6 hours to kill until the team got back. Grace went into the room, finding Lucky on the couch. His head resting on one of the cushions and he was fast asleep. Grace smiled again and settled down next to him. In front of her, Barnes was still on the bed, reading his book. This entire he had a small frown on his face as he flipped the pages. 

“Something wrong?” Grace asked, watching his movements. She purposely left off addressing him as Asset to see the reaction she’d get from him.

“I know this book,” Barnes’ gruff voice held a hint of emotion in it. To Grace’s ear, he sounded strained, almost wary to be speaking what was on his mind. “Why do I know this book?”

Grace felt her heart leap in excitement as Barnes’ asked her the question. 

“It was released back in the 1930’s,” Grace said, picking her words carefully. “And has become a classic over the years. Its 2015, so the book has been around as long as you have. It also has a sequel, of sorts, called Lord of the Rings.”

Barnes watched the glass, looking straight at Grace for the longest time. Even though he couldn’t see her, Grace kept her own firm gaze at him too. She felt like he could see something behind those thick layers of glass. Finally, Barnes nodded and turned back to his book without another word. Grace blew out a small sigh of relief. Another tiny step of progress in his very long road to recovery.

Breakfast came, an employee of Stark Industries kitchen, bearing them instead of Sam. Grace thanked the young Stark Industries employee, shutting the door before his curious looking around the room could get him a glance at Barnes. Lucky woke up at the smell of bacon, which Grace happily shared with him. The scrambled eggs she kept for herself, despite Lucky’s begging eyes. Barnes scoffed his breakfast with his usual speed, though this morning he didn’t put the book down while he ate. Grace looked at him with a glimmer of hope stretching in her body. A few days of food and solid sleep made Barnes look healthy again. His handsome face didn’t look so gaunt, there was colour in his cheeks again. Even in the simple clothes he wore, he looked more filled out. Grace noticed, with small amusement, that he could do with a shave. But there was no way he would be trusted with a razor just yet. Happy with the morning, Grace turned back to going over the slowly increasing decrypted files on Barnes. Lucky curled up next to her and went back to sleep while Grace and Barnes both read the morning away. Though Barnes seemed to be enjoying his book far more than Grace was reading his files. Lunch came and went, Grace even put down her computer to enjoy the beautiful sushi platter brought up for her. Lucky managed to score the pieces that she didn’t want. She was going to need to ask Sam where the gym was if they kept feeding her so well. Even Barnes ate his sushi, though he was wary at first. 

Grace got so caught up in her reading that she didn’t notice Barnes laying down for a sleep until a gentle snore made her look up. Barnes was on his back, book on his chest with his mouth open in a quiet snore. She smiled, taking in the sight of the terrifying assassin completely at ease in his surroundings. It made him look exactly the photos from his WW2 days. Young and carefree. Unlike the files she was currently reading. They were the start of his mission reports, dating back to the late 40’s and 50’s. They held nothing back and were all there in horrifying and somewhat gory detail. The Winter Soldier has methodical in his mission debriefs and whoever wrote them for him didn’t skimp on the details. Grace found herself sinking her hand into Lucky’s fur a little tighter as she swallowed her the bile rising in her throat. None of it was pleasant, but she needed to know exactly what he’d done to help him best. Lucky snuggled in closer to her, putting her head on her leg but being mindful of her laptop. He was a comforting presence Grace needed.

A pained groan made Grace’s head snap up back to the glass. Barnes was still asleep, but his flesh hand was fisted in the sheets. His face contorted in a grimace. Grace waited to see if whatever he was dreaming about would pass. But his knuckles only grew whiter as he gripped the sheets harder and harder. Grace could see the metal plates of his other arm flexing as well, she thought she could hear the grinding of the mechanics as well. Suddenly, Barnes lashed out with his metal arm and it slammed into the wall. The loud thud made Grace cringe as the vibration seemed to echo around the room.

“Stay here,” she murmured to Lucky, getting off the couch. Grace cautiously walked up to the glass separating them, watching carefully. She knew better than to try and wake Barnes from his nightmare. But it was still tough to watch. Barnes groaned, words that Grace didn’t understand falling out of his mouth in an endless plea. His twisted, as if writhing in agony on his bed, his pleas becoming more forceful and louder. Grace winced at the tone, it was almost like Barnes was pleading to die from something. She’d heard that many times from her suicidal patients. Her heart twisted, hearing the raw agony in Barnes’ voice.

She acted before thinking it through. Pulling the door open, she stepped into Barnes’ room. Lucky was right behind her, a silent shadow at the back of her legs.

“Asset.” Grace tried first, in a firm and loud voice. “Wake up.”

There was no response from Barnes. Only another pained moaned, his legs twisting around his blanket. As soon as the fabric pulled taunt around his legs, Barnes panicked even further. Grace quickly moved to the bed, yanking the blanket away from his body before he could hurt himself. 

The motion woke Barnes up. His eyes snapped open and zeroed in on Grace. She felt a small curl of nerves staring into those blue eyes. Right now he did not look to be within his full mental capacity.

“You had a nightmare,” Grace said firmly, hoping her voice didn’t betray her nerves. “You’re in New York, it’s 2015. What you were seeing wasn’t real Asset.”

Before Grace could blink, Barnes was off the bed. His flesh hand closed around her throat, choking away any cry of surprise that might have escaped. Grace’s back slammed against the wall, pushing out any air she might have left in her lungs. 

“I am not HYDRA’s Asset,” Barnes growled, spitting out the word Asset like it left a bad taste in his mouth. “I killed every single last HYDRA agent I found.”

His hand closed around Grace’s throat tighter every with word. Grace gasped, but didn’t struggle against the iron grip. It would have been useless anyway. She knew staying calm was the only way out of her situation.

“My name is Dr Grace Anderson,” Grace managed to wheeze out with the little air she had in her lungs. “Steve Rogers asked me to help you.”

“Steve.” The name brought a look of confusion on Barnes’ face, his grip on Grace’s throat relaxing a fraction, allowing her to suck in a much needed lungful of air. It tightened again, just as quickly, leaving Grave squirming against his grip this time. “Why did you call me Asset?”

“Because I haven’t had a chance to ask what you want to be called,” Grace’s voice came out as a squeak. She tried to keep her rising panic in check. Panic wouldn’t help her right now. “You needed to eat and sleep first.”

Grace was dimly aware of Lucky barking in the background. But all she could focus on was the desperate need for air in her body and remaining calm.

“My name is Bucky,” Barnes growled out. “I don’t work for HYDRA anymore.”

“Nice to meet you Bucky,” Grace wheezed, holding out her hand to shake with his, despite the black spots starting to swim in her vision. Barnes was starting to look very fuzzy in front of her. “You can call me Grace.”

Grace suddenly found herself on the floor, her neck free of the grip and he body shuddering to get air back into it. Dimly she could hear voices shouting, but everything felt like white noise. All she could do is focus on breathing in and out, gasping like a pack a day smoker who’d just ran a marathon. Strong arms picked up her and carried her from the room. Grace felt rather than saw the couch underneath her as she was placed down on it. A weight settled next to her with a wet nose nudging her arm.

“Gracie.” Sam’s face floated in front of her vision. Grace could feel his hands gently gripping the side of her face. “Breathe Gracie, breathe.”

Grace nodded obediently, sucking in a few big breaths. The more air she got the clearer everything came into focus. Sam was kneeling in front of her looking calm and collected. Lucky was beside her, nudging her arm with his nose and occasionally licking it. It took Grace a few more seconds to realise the room was a lot more crowded with more than Sam and Lucky. The entire time of the Avengers was crowded around her, all looking down on her. 

Grace fought back a sigh. This was not how she wanted to meet the Avengers.

“Hi everyone,” Grace said weakly, her voice hoarse and strained. “It's lovely to meet you all.”


	4. Chapter 4

“Thank you,” Grace managed to rasp out, wincing at both the sound of her voice and the feel of the ice pack gently being pressed onto her bruised skin. Dr Bruce Banner gave her a sympathetic smile as he turned away from the bed where Grace was currently sitting. He left the room without another word to Grace, making her feel even more uneasy about the situation.

Captain America, in all his glory, was standing in front of her. Arms crossed, shield resting on the floor with a mixture of shock and frustration all over his face. At least he was giving Grace a few moments to compose herself. Not that she needed it, Grace knew she fucked up in a very big way. This mistake was on her head and when she could speak properly, she was going to wear full responsibility for it.

“I thought you knew what you were doing.”Grace winced at the harsh words thrown at her. Though harsh, they had a ring of truth to them. What she had done made her looked like a medical student fumbling through their first exam. It wasn’t pretty.

“My medical degree says that I do,” Grace said, wincing as every word had to be forced out of her sore throat. “But it seems my desire not to see someone near strangle themselves with their sheet during a nightmare won over my common sense.”

Inwardly Grace winced at her words. It wasn’t the smartest thing she had ever said in her life. It was stretching the truth a little as well. Right now it may very well be professional suicide. But Steve firmly held her gaze, never backing down. Grace set her jaw and returned his gaze, keeping cool and professional.

“He could have killed you,” Steve pointed out, more frustrated than angry. Grace tilted her head, eyeing off the Captain curiously. If she was a little less experienced in human emotions, she may have thought Steve was angry with her. But all she could see in his face was an unease, almost a discomfort at her being hurt. 

“He may well have.” Grace shifted uncomfortably on the bed. Her back was hurting now. “But he didn’t. He only got upset when I called him Asset. He told me his name is Bucky, not Asset.”

Steve sucked in a sharp breath. The look of surprise on his face gave Grace the courage to continue.

“So, despite this.” Grace felt a little braver as she motioned to her sore neck. “I think that’s an improvement on the man who wouldn’t eat or sleep a few days ago. He told me he knew The Hobbit as well.”

“That was my favourite book,” Steve murmured, almost too low for Grace to hear.

“I fucked up,” Grace continued, pretending she didn’t hear Steve’s quiet comment. “And I will take full responsibility for my mistake. If you no longer feel like I’m capable of this job, I will hand it over to someone else. I can give you a list of several colleagues who I believe would be up to the job. I’m not going to stand here pretending I’m the only person who can do this job. There’s probably 100 people more capable than me out there. I haven’t unpacked yet which will make it easier for me to pack my bags.”

Grace could feel her heart hammering in her chest during her little speech. While her words felt brave and true, she felt like an unsure intern all over again. But she sat in the bed, holding Steve’s gaze. His eyebrows raised a little during her speech, but otherwise his expression gave nothing away.

“Do you think he trusts you?” Steve said after a long minute of silence.

“No.” Grace had no hesitation in shaking her head. Bucky wouldn’t trust anyone or anything for a very long time. Trust would take time to build and she simply hadn’t had the time to build that kind of rapport yet. “But he respects me enough to listen to what I had to say before he crushed my windpipe beyond repair.”

“You may have Lucky to thank for that,” Steve said, looking a little grim. Grace felt her stomach drop at his words. But she kept herself together, calm and professional. Being a crying mess over something that was her fault wasn’t going to help this situation. “The only reason Bucky dropped you was because Lucky bit him.”

“Lucky can have all the bacon he wants for saving my life then,” Grace kept her voice even. Injecting a little humour into the situation wasn’t going to hurt. She felt her eyes drift over to the window where she could see the back’s of the other Avengers. Lucky’s head was just visible above the glass. Clint Barton was stroking his ears and Lucky was leaning against his master. Grace smiled to herself. He was a good dog. Her ice pack had quickly grown warm, so she put it down on the bed. Her throat wasn’t anything a few Tylenol wasn’t going to fix.

“Do you know how many people can stand there and admit when they’ve made a mistake to Captain America?” Steve asked, pulling Grace’s attention back to her situation at hand. Grace shook her head, not quite trusting her aching throat or emotions right now. “It’s not many, I could count them on one hand. I appreciate your brutal honesty Dr Anderson.”

Grace didn’t bother to correct him on using her given name. Using a formal title usually meant a dismissal was coming. Grace squared her shoulders and set her jaw. Despite the bitter disappointment welling up in her, she knew this was her own fault. She would do exactly as she said, wear the consequences of her own actions. If it had been someone under her direction, she would have fired them without hesitation. She’d seen doctor’s fired for a lot less mistakes than she had just made.

“The only thing I can insist on right now is that you please take a few hours off to recover,” Steve said, carefully choosing his words. “I can have JARVIS wake you if you’re needed, but please at least pretend you’ve slept in your new room. Pepper will be disappointed otherwise.”

“Then I won’t disappoint Ms Potts,” Grace quickly squashed down her surprise. She had been certain she was about to head back up to her room and grab her still packed bags. “Thank you for trusting me Captain.”

“Steve,” he corrected Grace. There was a ghost of a smile on his face. “We may still have a bit to go with trust. But I definitely respect you to stand here and tell me you were wrong. It takes a lot of courage. Are you feeling up to meeting everyone yet, or would you like me to shoo the pack away for a little bit longer?”

“I think I’ve had enough excitement for today,” Grace couldn’t stop the dry tone from slipping into her voice. It wasn’t a lie. She was feeling ready for bed and it was only 4pm. 

“I will disperse the Avenger gauntlet for you,” Steve said with a smile. Captain America suddenly fell away with that smile and standing in front of her was Steve Rogers. Grace couldn’t help but smile back. It was extremely flattering having Steve smile at her. 

“I appreciate it, Steve.” Grace had to try out his name. It felt odd to be calling him be his given name. 

With another smile, Steve walked out of the room. Grace sagged against the bed, not quite believing her own luck. She had to force herself to breath normally as a chuckle came out. Despite her bravado about taking her dismissal, Grace was very relieved to not be on her way to Maryland. These last few days, as boring as they might have been to an outsides view, had been life changing for Grace. She was doing something no one ever had before. This might be the hardest patient she would ever have in her life. But working with Bucky would make so many grounds in other areas. Grace was well aware of her very lengthy non disclosure agreement, meaning she couldn’t publish any research. But she wasn’t interested in looking good on a piece of paper. This would help so many other people. 

Grace was bone tired by the time she pushed herself off the bed. The hallway had quickly been cleared of everyone but Sam. She could see him hovering by the door, looking impatient. While she didn’t want to hear a lecture from him, Sam could also show her to her room. Sleep was looking very good right about now. Deciding not to procrastinate about it any further, Grace got off the bed and walked to the door.

“Hi,” Grace said cautiously as the door swung open on it own. 

“How do you feel?” Sam wasted no time in taking Grace by the shoulders and inspecting every inch of her.

“Fine, stop fussing at me,” Grace scolded him. “It was suggested that I take a few hours off to enjoy my room. I think I might take that advice.”

“About time.” The relief was clear in Sam’s voice, but he held onto his stern expression. “Get some sleep and I’ll yell at you in the morning.”

“I look forward to it,” Grace said sarcastically. On a whim, she lent forward and wrapped her arms around her best friend. Sam hugged her back, a little tighter than normal. “I’m okay.”

“I know you are, you’re tougher than you look,” Sam’s voice was a little muffled in Grace’s hair. “Don’t do that again please.”

“I don’t plan on it.”

“Good.” Sam finally let her go. “Come on, I’ll finally take you to your room.”

The living area of Stark Tower was on the top floors. Grace didn’t have the energy to marvel at the city view below her. Sam stopped at the second door away from the elevator.

“This is you.” Sam opened the door. “And I’m across the hallway from you.”

Grace stepped into the room, ready to thank Sam. But she fell speechless at the room in front of her. The apartment could have come straight from the pages of a magazine. The open plan room was a spacious lounge room with a kitchen off to the side. The far wall was all windows, giving an even better view of the city. Everything looked brand new, Grace felt like she had to kick her shoes off before stepping out onto the plush carpet. It was a far cry from her cramped little apartment.

“This is all mine?” Grace turned to Sam, her eyes wide with shock. 

“All yours,” Sam laughed at her shocked expression. “Like I said before, Stark is very generous. He’s also ridiculously wealthy and thinks these apartments are slumming it. You should see the Penthouse.”

Grace doubted she would ever set foot in the penthouse. She was more than happy with the apartment provided for her. It was the nicest thing she would ever live in. Then again, Grace was now free of her crippling student loans. She could afford the smaller luxuries in life, like an apartment bigger than a shoebox.

“Get some sleep,” Sam ordered. “JARVIS will wake you if you’re needed.”

“Got it.” Grace didn’t have any energy left to argue. She walked through the apartment and went straight to the bedroom. It was just as opulent as the rest of the apartment. The king sized bed screamed for her attention and Grace was more than happy to flop down on it. Her eyes closed and she was asleep within seconds. 

A gentle pinging sound invaded Grace’s senses. The more she tried to ignore it and stay asleep, the louder it became.

“I’m sorry Dr Anderson,” JARVIS’ voice cut through the fog of her sleep. “But Sargent Barnes is quite persistently asking for you.”

Grace rolled over with a groan, staring up at the ceiling. It was still dark. A little after 4am according to the clock beside her. She was comfortable, despite her tired and sore state and not feeling very keen on getting out of bed.

“Can you put his room audio through to me?” Grace asked groggily, not truely awake yet. 

There was a long pause, so long Grace nearly drifted back off to sleep. But when Bucky’s deep voice sounded above her, Grace jumped in surprise.

“The voice in my room told me I could talk to you.” Every word Bucky spoke was with great hesitation. “And you aren’t in the other room at the moment.”

“No, I’m not. I came up to my apartment to get some sleep.” Grace stared at the ceiling above her, feeling strange to be having a conversation like this. “Is something wrong?”

“No.”

Grace waited for an explanation to come, but there was only silence.

“Did you need something?” Grace probed after a minute of silence. She reluctantly got out of bed, scrubbing a hand over her face tiredly. Whether she liked it or not, her patient needed her right now. 

“No.”

Grace sighed at the monosyllable answer. Bucky obviously needed or wanted something. Getting it out of him this way was probably going to be like pulling teeth. Still, Grace was impressed Bucky had managed to work out how to talk to her through JARVIS. 

“I’m coming down there now.” Grace forced her tired body to move. “I’ll be 5 minutes. Confirm?”

She hadn’t meant to say confirm. It had just slipped out. After Bucky’s snap about not being HYDRA’s Assert anymore, it was the wrong thing for her to say.

“Confirmed,” Bucky’s answer was crisp and instant. 

Grace nodded at the ceiling, before realising he couldn’t see her. As she began fumbling around for the light switch, Bucky added in a much smaller voice.

“Thank you.”

“You’re welcome.” Grace smiled as she fumbled for the light switch. A second later bright light flooded the room making her blind for half a second. “I’ll be there soon.”

It took Grace a lot longer than she wanted to get moving again. Despite the solid 10 hours of sleep, her body was still begging for more. She really had put it through some sleep deprivation abuse over the last few days. Still, she had done worse through college and medical school. She could manage right now. She was somewhat awake by the time she’d taken the elevator down a few floors. As Grace walked to Bucky’s room, another person was slipping out of the door. Grace jumped in surprise at the sudden appearance of another person. Beside the dark blond hair man with amazing biceps was a familiar dog.

“Hey boy,” Grace said with a grin, perking up at the sight of Lucky. “Who’s my favourite boy?”

Lucky came scampering straight over the Grace, wriggling in delight as she bent down to pat him. 

“Do I get a pat too?”

Grace straightened herself and found herself face to face with Clint Barton. Well, face to nose. Clint was a few inches taller than her. 

“Only if you’re a good boy.” Grace couldn’t stop the cheeky retort slipping out. She cringed at her lack of filter, but thankfully Clint only grinned in response and stuck his hand out.

“Clint Barton, but I guess you already know that.” He introduced himself as Grace took his hand. “And if you didn’t know, I am always a good boy. Especially if you feed me bacon too.”

“Traitor, you weren’t meant to tell.” Grace looked down to Lucky, pretending to scold the dog. But Clint’s quipping had put her instantly at ease. He looked very normal in his faded blue jeans and nondescript grey t-shirt that had seen better days. The media always put the Avengers up on these pedestals, like they were movie stars and no mere mortal could ever attain to be one of them. But standing in front of her was a man with no super abilities. He was just a guy who was really good with a bow and arrow. He also had the most adorable dog Grace had ever seen. It was a far cry from what she expected meeting another Avenger besides Steve. Though it did beg the question of what he was doing down here at this time of the morning.

“Don’t worry, it was only his lack of ability to brush his teeth that gave him away,” Clint said fondly, reaching over to scratch behind Lucky’s ears with a smile. “Thanks for taking him for a walk.”

“Anytime,” Grace said, returning the easy smile. “He kind of saved my ass this afternoon. He deserves all the bacon and walks he wants.”

“Pizza is his favourite,” Clint informed her. “But if you get him anything with pepperoni, he sleeps with you because he farts something disgusting all night long.”

“I’ll keep that in mind.” Grace winkled her nose playfully at Lucky. He looked up at her with a big doggy grin, like he was amused at his stinky farts. The curiosity of running into Clint couldn't be held in any longer. “What brings you here at this hour?”

“Just having a chat,” Clint said it so casually, like he’d come down to have a beer with a friend. “He’s not exactly that chatty type, but you’d be surprised what you learn from people by watching them.”

From what Grace knew of Clint, he would certainly know about watching people. The media had dubbed him the Avengers sniper. Some of his reports from SHIELD after the collapse of the Triskelion certainly backed that up. 

“Did you learn anything?” Grace asked, wondering if she was about to walk into a trap of some sort. Under Clint’s carefree expression, Grace could tell he was smarter than the average person. He seemed like the type of person to play dumb until he had a person exactly where he wanted them. 

“That there is far more of Bucky Barnes in there that anyone realises. Under that quiet exterior is a man who’s very haunted by what he’s done. It’s no fun being the weapon and someone else has control of the trigger.”

“That sounds like you’re speaking with experience,” Grace said, trying to be tactful. She remembered there’d been a lot of press surrounding the Avenger in front of her after the file dump. Grace had been too busy to pay attention to it back then, but she vaguely remembered people calling for Clint’s arrest. It had something to do with the crazy villain who was responsible for the Chitauri attack a few years ago. 

“Buy me a beer sometime and I might tell you.” Though the grin on Clint’s face was light and carefree, his eyes spoke of haunted memories. “I’m going to bed though. It was nice finally meeting you Grace.”

“You too Clint.” Grace knew when not to pry for information. Now was the perfect example of letting something drop until a later date. Grace felt a spike of mischief and couldn’t stop herself adding. “I’ll buy you a bowl of wings with that beer. Good night.”

“Ah, a girl after my own heart,” Clint said with a laugh. “Good night.”

Grace gave Lucky one last pat and watched the pair retreat into the elevator. As soon as the doors closed, Grace shook her head in mild surprise. She certainly had some reading to do on the rest of the Avengers. Striding into the room, Grace found Bucky sitting on his bed, frowning like he was deep in thought. 

“What’s up?” Grace asked, walking over to the coffee machine. The pot smelt like it was freshly brewed and it was hot. Both of which she desperately needed right now.

“I….” Bucky trailed off, making Grace look over to him. He hadn’t changed positions from before, except now he was looking frustrated. “Did I hurt you?”

Grace looked over to the window in mild surprise. She’d expected guilt to set in eventually, but not quite this soon. Clint words about there being more of Bucky Barnes in there than anyone realised rang through her head. The Winter Solider was a cold, calculated assassin.By all reports, Bucky Barnes was a gentleman. A product of his time but quite the ladies man as well. To Bucky, hurting an innocent civilian, especially a woman was downright despicable. The man looking at Grace right now was all Bucky Barnes, confused and desperate for an answer.

“No, you surprised me more than anything else,” Grace lied to save the anguish. “Though you did give me an excuse to wear the really pretty silk scarf I brought ages ago. So thank you for that.”

The quirk of lips on Bucky’s face was so quick that Grace nearly missed it. But it had been there. Feeling more hopeful than she had in the last few days, Grace finished pouring her coffee and sat on the couch while Bucky contemplated his next words. 

“Why am I here?” Bucky’s next question didn’t surprise Grace. He looked very lost right now.

“Because your friend Steve found you and thought this was the safest place for you,” Grace explained patiently, pausing to take a sip of coffee. “You’d been on the run for a long time.”

“6 months.” Bucky frowned heavily. “Was it 6 months?”

“It was 6 months,” Grace confirmed. This was good progress. While he was in the right frame of mind, she decided to gently push for some more answers to where his memory was right now. “Do you remember Steve?”  
“Steve.” Bucky contemplated the name, his brow furrowed in concentration. “He used to be shorter, but then he joined the Army.”

“He did indeed,” Grace couldn’t help but laugh a little. 

“We crashed into the water in DC, I pulled hm out,” Bucky said quietly, almost to himself. “He said he knew me and I lied when I said I didn’t know him.”

Grace waited for Bucky to put the pieces of his thoughts together. He was concentrating so hard right now. 

“It’s all a tangled mess in my head,” Bucky said with a huff. In a movement too quick for Grace to follow, he threw himself back on the bed, staring at the ceiling. He looked like a moody teenager, pouting because he couldn’t get his own way. “I don’t know what thoughts are mine and whats theirs.”

He spat out the last word like it left a disgusting taste in his mouth. 

“I might be able to help with that,” Grace said carefully. “How about writing them down?”

Bucky’s face turned to face Grace through the glass. Grace found it disconcerting how he could always find her straight away. The glass was a one way mirror, yet it seemed like he could see straight through it. 

“If you write them down, Steve and I can help you sort out what’s real and whats not,” Grace added. “A diary of sorts.”

“You aren’t meant to read a person’s diary.” The sass dripping from Bucky’s voice was completely unexpected. Grace found herself laughing again. There was definitely a lot of Bucky in there right now. 

“You aren’t meant to read a lady’s diary, and believe me you are no lady,” Grace said, her tone light and teasing to see what kind of reaction she got. Bucky didn’t disappoint, the smile was brief but it was there. He expression quickly turned serious again. 

“May I have a pen and paper then?” Bucky asked.

“Of course.” Grace got up and went to the desk in the corner. She had spied a few blank books in there earlier when she was looking for a highlighter. Someone had the thought to keep the desk well stocked with pen and paper. It saved Grace having to going walking around New York at dawn trying to find the items. 

“Would you mind handing them to me in person?” Bucky’s next request was very quiet. Grace had to pause her rummaging to hear him correctly.

“Why is that?” Grace asked, keeping her tone neutral. She knew it wasn’t the smartest idea in the world. He could be a very good actor and simply trying to plot his escape. But when she looked over to him, he looked genuinely worried and very nervous about what he was asking. Bucky had gone to sitting on the edge of the bed, wringing his hands together, talking down to the floor.

“Because I’d like to apologise face to face.”

Grace nibbled on her lower lip, staring at the man in the room. It was an innocent enough request. She knew common sense would dictate getting Steve or Thor down here at back up. But it was the crack of dawn and she was loathed to rouse either man.

“We need to establish some rules first,” Grace said, her voice firm. “I’ll stay on this side of the door and if you blink at me the wrong way, the door shuts. Understood?”

“You have my word I won’t disturb a hair on your head,” Bucky said solemnly. 

His reply made Grace run a hand over her wild hair. It was sticking out everywhere and getting a little unruly thanks to her lack of care factor for not brushing it. She knew she probably looked like shit. But she wasn’t trying to impress to man across from her. 

“Meet me at the door then.”

Grace felt her heartbeat quicken with ever step. Her mouth was dry by the end of the 9 steps she took towards Bucky’s door.

“JARVIS, open the door please.”

“I would kindly like to suggest that Captain Rogers is present for this.” JARVIS didn’t comply to her command instantly. Grace sighed quietly looking up. She should have known better than someone would interrupt her. Even if that someone was an AI.

“Then please ask Captain Rogers to come down here,” Grace said, begrudgingly. She knew it was the safe way to do things, but didn’t want to waste another second of time. “And apologise profusely for waking him up.”

“Captain Rogers is already awake and on his way to his morning jog,” JARVIS replied pleasantly. “He will be with you in less than a minute.”

Grace rolled her eyes at the ceiling. She wondered how much JARVIS knew. It almost seemed like he was a real person sometimes.

“Bucky, I’m just waiting for Steve to get here,” Grace explained, looking back to the door. “Lucky went to bed so I don’t have any back up.”

There it was again, that barely there smile on his face that disappeared as quickly as it came. It made Grace have a little smile of her own. It was a good sign he wasn’t wallowing in self pity for the mistake that happened before. Right now Bucky was standing on the other side of the door looking as nervous as Grace was feeling. 

True to JARVIS’ word, Steve came into the room a few seconds later. He was wearing an athletic shirt that was far too tight on him. Grace forced herself not to stare the muscular chest and perfect abs. 

“Sorry for disturbing your morning run,” Grace said, putting on her polite and professional tone to distract herself from the attractive man in front of her. “I did promise I’d ask for back up.”

“I have’t been yet, so you aren’t disturbing anything.” Steve gave her a small smile. “Why are you going in there?”

“Bucky wants to apologise,” Grace explained with a shrug of her shoulders. She held up the book and pen in her hand. “And this will give him something to do. He doesn’t know what memories are real or not. I want him to write them down and then I was hoping you could help me sort them out.”

For the first time Grace had seen, Steve offered her a genuine smile. The polite, almost forced smile fell off his face and a genuine one was there. It made him look years younger and so much less stern. And very attractive. Grace forced her eyes to stay firmly glued to anywhere above his neckline. 

“Where should I stand?” Steve asked, looking happier than Grace had ever seen him.

“Far away enough not to interfere, but quick enough to grab him if he chokes me again,” Grace knew her answer was vague. But she had no idea how quick Steve actually was. Giving him a little bit of control of the situation would make him feel more at ease too.

“I’ll wait right here,” Steve said, crossing his arms over his chest. Grace made herself look away, but not before she got a good eyeful of the bulging biceps wanting to escape his t-shirt. If Grace knew him a little better she might tease him abut the small shirt. But now wasn’t the time nor the place. She wasn’t even sure how far she could push Steve.

“JARVIS, the door please.” Grace addressed the ceiling. A second later, the door to Bucky’s room opened soundlessly. True to his word, Bucky stood absolutely still. He looked like he was barely breathing as Grace closed the gap between them. She held out the book and pen to him once she got within reach. “For you.”

“Thank you.” Bucky swallowed hard as he reached out and took the book and pen from her. He was so cautious that not even their fingertips touched. His gaze had zeroed on Grace’s neck. She fought back the urge to fidget or cover up the now bruised flesh. “And I’m very sorry for hurting you.”

“Like I said, I get to wear my pretty scarf now,” Grace said smoothly. “Would you like some breakfast?”

“Yes please.” Bucky swallowed again before dropping his eyes to the ground. “Thank you again for the book.”

Before Grace could reply, Bucky stepped away from the door and walked back to his bed. The door shut as soon as he sat down again. Grace let out a long, shaky breath, not quite believing her luck of what just happened. She could only stare at the door, not sure whether to cheer for such good progress this morning. Or whether she should cry because the bad always came after the good.

“Are you all right?” Steve’s voice broke through her thoughts. 

Grace turned around to face him, nodding as she blew out another breath.

“I’m very happy that went well.” For the moment Grace would smile. It was a small victory. “Now I think I owe Clint Barton a beer and wings for whatever he said to him to make this morning run so well.”

“If it gets my best friend back sooner, I’ll buy him one too.” Steve’s laughter surprised Grace. “He made a comment to Natasha about them being brainwashed bro’s together.”

“Brainwashed bro’s.” Grace laughed with Steve. “I like that, even though I don’t know the full story.”

“It’s a long one and definitely his to tell,” Steve gave her a wry smile. “Did you need me for anything else?”

“No, thank you,” Grace said, composing herself back into the professional she attempted to be. “I appreciate your help.”

“If you want to go over his books, I’m a floor above you,” Steve’s words came out a little rushed. “You’re welcome up there any time.”

Grace swore she saw a faint dusting of pink creeping along Steve’s face as he said the last part. She was nearly going to make a smart ass comment, but quickly stopped herself. Steve had only been out of the ice for 2 years now. He was very much a man out of time. In the 40’s, inviting a woman up to his room would have been something inappropriate. It was little wonder he looked mildly embarrassed about it. 

“That would be great,” Grace said with a smile. “I promise I’ll bring baked goods of some kind if I have to disturb you.”

If there was one thing she could do well, it was bake. Grace used to joke through medical school that she’d quit medicine and be a baker instead. It was her way of coping with stress.

“Anything but apple pie would be great.” Steve’s face lit up and he lost all traces of embarrassment. 

“I’m scandalised,” Grace said with a mock gasp. “Captain America doesn’t like apple pie? How unpatriotic of him.”

“Captain America likes everything,” Steve laughed at her joke. “Steve Rogers, however, detests most types of pie.”

“I’ll bring brownies and cupcakes instead,” Grace promised, laughing as well. “Thanks for interrupting your morning run for me.”

“Anytime.”

The smile Steve sent her made Grace feel some butterflies. She mentally shooed them away as quickly as they came. She couldn’t help it though. Steve was very attractive. Any female would go weak at the knees at that golden boy smile of his. Before she could say anything else, Steve slipped out of the room. Grace let out a soft sigh. She really needed to get her hormones under control before she said something stupid. It would just be her luck to screw up her dream job by making inappropriate comments at the man who was essentially her boss.

With another sigh, this time a contented one. Grace turned back to her job at hand. Bucky was sitting on his bed, scribbling away at a frantic pace in his book. Judging by the concentration on his face, he wouldn’t take kindly to being disturbed. Grace went to the desk and grabbed her own laptop. She may as well get started on making notes of today, even though the sun was barely rising. It had been a good start to the day. She hoped it would last a little longer.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I promised I'd get this chapter out, and here it is! Sorry for the wait on it.


	5. Chapter 5

Grace stared at her phone, re-reading the text message for the 100th time. It’d come from a number she didn’t know, yet she wasn’t surprised to see it.

_Hi Grace. Its Pepper Potts here, I hope you’re settling in well. Tonight is team dinner night in the common room. Everyone brings a plate and tonight we’re doing Italian. If you could do something for dessert that would be great. See you at 7!_

There was no option to say no. Grace let her head fall against the window with an audible bang. She was sitting on the floor, laptop in her lap and legs stretched out in front of her. Behind her, Bucky was in the exact same position. If it wasn’t for the glass between them, they’d be back to back. Bucky was furiously writing in his third book in as many days.

“Well, shit.” Grace pursed her lips and she dropped her phone in her lap. While she’d been going up to her apartment to sleep and shower, she hadn’t left the room. Sam had been down here a few times every day. But other than that, Grace had been left alone. Bucky had been quiet, caught up in his writing and had done little else but write, eat and sleep. It might have been boring for Grace, except for the first book Bucky had filled in her lap. His penmanship was perfect cursive that made Grace very self conscious of her own chicken scratch handwriting. It was disjointed memories, often starting back in World War 2 or Brooklyn then suddenly they’d be in another time and place without warning. Grace was going through the book and making notes on her laptop, trying to put everything together in some kind of order. It was a slow process, but fascinating at the same time. Grace had finished the first book and was having a small break before getting into the second one.

Grace’s fingers hovered above her phone screen, ready to knock back the invitation. But she hesitated. There was no reason for her to refuse except for feeling awkward. She knew she needed to integrate herself into the team dynamics sooner or later. Bucky wouldn’t be her only patient. Besides, Bucky could contact her through JARVIS if he needed anything. So far he hadn’t, leaving Grace able to get a solid 8 hours of sleep every night.

“Bucky, would you be all right by yourself for the rest of the day?” Grace asked, looking over her shoulder. She still didn't like leaving him alone for any longer than she had to.

“Of course.” Bucky didn’t look up from his writing. His pen paused for a few seconds. “Where are you going?”“Dinner, apparently,” Grace said dryly. “I have to bring dessert.”

“What’s for dessert?”

Grace turned so she was facing Bucky. It felt rude to not be talking to his face even though he couldn’t see her.

“Something Italian, I was thinking tiramisu,” Grace said with a small smile. Even though he didn’t talk much, these bits and pieces of conversation throughout the day were all good little steps. “Want me to bring you some back?”

“I don’t think I’ve ever had tiramisu,” Bucky said, almost absently as he continued to write. “Are you making it or buying it?”

“Making it. If I can find a good recipe.” Grace opened a new tab on her internet browser to start searching. “I’ve never made it before. So it could be hit or miss.”

“We had an Italian neighbour,” Bucky said suddenly, his pen stopped midair. “I think. She used to make spaghetti for Steve and I sometimes.”

“Steve said it was your favourite food.” That was one thing Grace could confirm. Everything else she was going to have to sit down and talk out with Steve. “Do you want some for dinner?”

Grace felt a twinge of guilt for going up and having a nice dinner while Bucky was stuck down here. He was in no condition to leave the room just yet. But Grace was hopeful that maybe in a week or two, she could start interacting with him face to face. If he stayed on the path he had been the last few days, everything was looking promising.

“I’ll have whatever is given to me,” Bucky said gruffly. “I’m clothed and fed here. I’m not going to argue on my choices.”

Food was one thing that was still a bit touchy with Bucky. He ate everything given to him, but never asked for more or suggested what he’d like to eat. Still, Grace wasn’t going to complain because he was eating whatever was given to him. His clothes were fitting him a little better and despite his scraggly beard, Bucky was looking infinitely better in a relatively short space of time.

“I’ll bring a selection down afterwards then.” Grace didn’t press, idling flicking through Google to find a recipe that looked a little bit more fancy than usual. It never hurt to show off good cooking skills when you wanted to impress someone. Or an entire team of superheroes. Adding the world ‘classic’ into the search engine brought up a recipe that looked very good. Grace went through the ingredient list, biting her lip. While there was food in the fridge in her apartment and there was food always on hand to be had with asking JAVIS, Grace had no idea where to go shopping. It was just after lunch, she’d need to give the tiramisu plenty of time to set. Another recipe caught her eye and before she knew it, Grace was making a list for ingredients for cannoli as well.

“JARVIS, where can I find a good food store to get what I need for tonight?” Grace asked once she was finished. It may have been a bit ambitious, but Grace hadn’t had the chance to bake anything good in ages. She asn’t going to pass this opportunity up. Bucky was still writing and judging by the frown on his face, deep in thought. He looked like he was about to be in one of his long silent moods.

“If you read the list out, I shall have it delivered to your apartment within the hour,” JARVIS answered promptly. “Mr Wilson saw that your apartment was well stocked with baking appliances. If there is anything additional you require, please let me know.”

Grace had a good look through her cupboards last night when she was trying to find a pan to make an omelette. She’d been surprised to find that her every baking whim had been attended to. There was even a top of the line cake decorating kit. She’d wondered at the time who had been the one doing it. She should have known it was Sam’s idea. She was dying to give the KitchenAid a good work out. Reading out the list, including a tentative asking for cannoli forms which JARVIS assured her would be easy to find, Grace found herself a bit lost. For the first time in days she didn’t have much to do except sit back and wait. There was no point in starting to second book with being promised her ingredients would be delivered in 45 minutes.

“Bucky, I’m going to head up and start cooking.” It was a small lie, but Bucky looked like he didn’t want to be disturbed. “Let JARVIS know if you need me for anything.”

All she got was a grunt in reply. Grace wasn’t offended, Bucky did look like he was concentrating hard. Grace went up to her floor and instead of going to her apartment, she went straight to Sam’s. His door swung open automatically for her. As soon as the door opened, Grace inhaled a deep breath. Whatever Sam was cooking up for tonight smelt delicious. He was a pretty good cook himself, but didn’t have Grace’s patience for fiddly recipes.

“Smells good Sammy,” Grace called out as she walked into the lounge room. His apartment was nearly a mirror image of her own. Except his looked lived in and had homely touches, like a few plants and photos.

“Oh good, a taste tester.” Sam was in the kitchen, peering into the oven. “Come and try this and tell me if its shit or not. I wasn’t going to make a huge batch unless they tasted good enough to feed the horde.”

Grace laughed at his description and obediently went into the kitchen. Sam busied himself getting what looked to be 2 small pizzas out of the oven. Grace stuck her hand in the bowl on the counter as she went past, snatching a fig out it. The fig was sweet and juicy on her tongue, making her briefly close her eyes in bliss.

“Figs are good,” Grace commented, licking the remaining juice off her fingers. “This is very fancy for you. I excepted store brought pasta and bottled sauce.”

“I’m trying to beat Natasha’s cooking,” Sam explained, grabbing a handful of mixture out of the bowl where the fig had come from. He carefully placed it on the still hot pizza base, frowning down at it. “It sounded really weird when I looked it up. But one the fancy Italian restaurants in New York does this so I’m giving it a try too. Here.”Sam finished arranging the fig, prosciutto, salad and cheese mixture on the pizza base. He handed one over to Grace, looking cautious. Grace took a bite into the pizza, wincing at the still hot base burnt her tongue a little. But the combination of fig, prosciutto and buffalo cheese exploded in her mouth. Some of the oil and balsamic from the salad and the creme fraiche on the base dripped down her chin, making Grace quickly wipe if off. She nodded her approval while chewing.

“It's really good Sam,” Grace said around her mouthful of food. “Really, really good. You need to do about 100 of them. Then take me to this restaurant that serves this.”

“Yeah?” Sam looked incredibly pleased with himself. He took a bite of his own pizza, chewing silently for a few seconds before closing his eyes. The contented sound he made before he swallowed made Grace laugh. “Yeah I agree. Fuck I’m good. That restaurant was one of the ones with no prices on the menu. I think I’ll stick to my homemade ones.”

“I’ll shout you one night,” Grace said before taking another bite. She’d gotten paid last night and was feeling like she had cash to burn for the first time in her adult life. With no rent, student loans of living expenses to pay, the amount of money in her bank seemed a little grotesque. She was struggling between being a responsible adult and saving a good chunk of it. Or going and blowing it on some really inappropriately priced shoes. It was a hard call.

“So what are you cooking?” Sam asked, with a sly grin. “I hope you checked your cupboards for your new toys.”

“I did and once I’m not covered in olive oil and other juices, I owe you a hug.” Grace laughed, wiping her chin again. “Thank you, I really appreciate the little touch. I’m making tiramisu and cannoli.”

“Marscapone or Ricotta filling for the cannoli?” Sam asked, popping the last of his pizza into his mouth.

“Marscapone or course,” Grace said with a little wiggle of her eyebrows. “Gotta be over indulgent if I’m trying to impress my boss. Well, technically bosses. I think I have more than one.”

“Make sure you dip the shells in chocolate then,” Sam suggested. “Nothing impresses Steve and Tony more than over rich stuff with chocolate.”

“I’ll definitely keep that in mind.” Grace had no shame in licking her fingers clean. Sam had done an excellent job on the topping for his pizza. “How about that hug?”

Sam launched at Grace, making her giggle as he squeezed her in a tight bear hug. She put her arms around his neck, hugging him back with all her strength. Sam didn’t flinch at Grace’s hug at all. Still, she smiled. It was so nice to have a light hearted moment with Sam. Their lives had been far too busy for too long.

“So why are you trying to beat Natasha?” Grace asked as they both pulled away.

“After we all moved in, Natasha was the worst cook of us all. If Barton didn’t know how to cook I’m sure they both would have starved to death, or they’d both weigh 300 pounds each,” Sam said with a small chuckle. “So she’s made a mission to learn to cook and gotten really good in the process. It’s a bit of friendly rivalry we have going on to see how we can outdo each other every team dinner night. Mama’s fried chicken won last week but she beat me the week before. I’m determined to get a streak happening for at least 2 weeks.”

“That’s because your Mama does the best fried chicken I’ve ever had in my life.” Grace’s mouth watered at the thought of it. Though she was mildly surprised at the casual mention of Natasha and Clint living together. She had a lot to learn about the team dynamics. “I’ll still beat you with my tiramisu though.”

“That I have no doubt about,” Sam chuckled. “I said to Pepper you'd love to show off your dessert skills. And we all get to taste it. It’s a win, win situation for everyone.”

“Smart move.” Grace wasn’t offended. Sam had done her a favour by making her dish a dessert one. If she was doing a main meal she might have been a little more stressed. “Do you want to come over and help me when you’re finished?”

“Sure, I’ll just put some more dough on to rise and then I’ll head over,” Sam agreed. “Why do I get this horrible feeling you want my muscles for something?”

The cannoli dough Grace wanted to make needed 15 minutes of solid kneading. But she wasn’t going to tell Sam that.

“I just want my best friend’s company,” Grace said innocently. “What’s wrong with that?”

Sam gave Grace a suspicious look, not buying her story in the least.

“Besides, I need you to fill me in on who’s sleeping with who so I don’t make a fool of myself,” Grace hastily added. “And I’ll let you lick the spoon and bowl.”

“And the beaters,” Sam negotiated, a sly little smile on his face. “And I get first taste of everything.”

“Slave driver,” Grace heaved a dramatic and overly fake sigh. “Fine. You win.”

“I’ll be over soon.” Sam laughed, looking extremely pleased with himself. “Shoo. Go wait for your delivery.”

Grace did as she was told. As she walked into her apartment she jumped in fright at the sight of a Stark Industries employer putting food away in her fridge. By the empty bags on the counter, he was nearly done. It had been a lot quicker than Grace had anticipated.

“Your order Dr Anderson.” The young man said pleasantly, putting the last item on the fridge shelf. “If there’s anything else you need, please don’t hesitate to ask.”

“Thank you…” Grace trailed off, looking for a name badge. His employer ID tag was out of her sight.

“Josh,” he supplied. “I do the personal shopping for Mr Stark and his guests. I’ve left my business card on the bench if you want to contact me directly instead of JARVIS relaying the message. You didn’t specify brands. So if anything isn’t up to standard please call me and I’ll get it replaced right away.”

“Thank you Josh,” Grace said again, feeling a little uncomfortable. Having someone shopping and catering for her every whim felt very strange. “I’m sure everything will be fine.”

“Some people are fussy,” Josh said with a small laugh, gathering up the shopping bags. “Have a good day Dr Anderson.”

Grace's feeling of being uncomfortable didn’t disperse until the young man had left and closed her apartment door. If she had walked into her apartment a few minutes later, she would have never known someone had physically come up and put her groceries away. Shaking off the feeling, Grace walked into the kitchen and started pulling out the ingredients she needed for the tiramisu first.

Sam came in as soon as Grace had finished making the custard part of the dessert. Instead of lecturing him on the dangers of eating uncooked egg, Grace obediently handed over the beaters. While she cooked, Sam filled her in on the team’s relationships. Clint and Natasha had been work partners for over a decade, but had only recently decided to stop skirting around the issue they’d both been avoiding. Namely their love life instead of being fuck buddies. Pepper and Tony were together. Sam was sure it was some sort of hypnosis and someone would say the trigger word one day and Pepper would wake up screaming in horror about being in love with Tony. Grace couldn’t stop laughing for a solid 5 minutes after Sam’s whacky theory. Jane was the one who’d discovered Thor when he’d been banished to Earth a few years ago. He’d gone back to Asgard afterwards but returned to Earth after London was attacked by Dark Elves. Darcy was Jane’s assistant and constant shadow. Where ever Jane was, so was Darcy. Bruce was single, as well as Steve. The suggestive wiggle of Sam’s eyebrows when he mentioned Steve was single made Grace throw a ball of dough at Sam’s head. His teasing about her lack of love life was a very regular thing. But Grace did not need him meddling in something as absurd as her and Steve. The rest of the afternoon passed quickly as the pair bantered back and forth. As Grace finished the last cannoli tube, JARVIS’ voice chimed overhead.

“Dr Anderson, Mr Wilson. Mr Odinson is at your apartment door looking for your assistance. May I let him in here?”

“Of course.” Grace looked to the door, a hint of nerves hitting her quickly. She was about to meet a Norse god. She was covered in flour from baking all afternoon. It was nearly as bad as meeting Captain America with frizzy hair and coffee breath. No sooner had the thought hit her, Thor was walking in the door. Grace momentarily gaped at the mountain of a man in front of her, but quickly snapped her mouth shut. While Steve was all muscle, Thor took is to another dimension. Grace wondered if she’d be crushed by his one his hands.

“Lady Grace!” Thor’s voice boomed across the room, making Grace wince a little at the volume. “It is my greatest pleasure to finally meet our wonderful healer.”

Thor crossed the room in a few easy strides. Before Grace could get her mind to work, Thor picked her up in a bear hug. He hugged firm enough to squeeze the breath out of her. Grace froze in his grip, unsure whether to hug back or what to do. He dropped her a few seconds later, holding her at arms length with a radiant smile on his face. Grace felt herself melt a little at the easy, charming smile. Thor was incredibly handsome. It did a girl’s confidence the world of good to have an attractive man look at you like that.

“It’s lovely to meet you as well Thor.” Grace felt her face heating up in mild embarrassment. It wasn’t helping that Sam was standing behind her snorting with barely contained laughter. “What can I do for you?”

“I am in a bind of sorts,” Thor’s smile didn’t diminish, despite his words. “My beloved Jane and her friend Darcy had their flights delayed so she won’t be home in time for this evening’s feast.”Grace had to quietly clear her throat so she didn’t laugh at Thor’s use of the word feast.

“I, myself are a terrible cook and was hoping Sam would be able to assist me in preparing something suitable for this evening,” Thor continued with his beaming smile. “Would it be too much trouble to ask for your assistance as well?”

“Not at all.” Grace was absolutely powerless to resist the request. It helped that he spoke like a Disney Prince, and looked like one as well. “Did Jane or Darcy have something planned?”

“I will be forever in your debt, thank you Lady Grace.” Thor bowed a little, taking Grace’s hand and kissing it. Grace thought she might swoon on the spot. “You have saved me from what could have been quite an embarrassing endeavour. I believe Darcy had meatballs planned? Someone else was bringing the other dish that goes with it.”

“You’re very welcome.” Grace fought back the urge to fan her now flaming face. Thor was far too princely for his own good. “Meatballs I can definitely help you with.”

“Miss Lewis had all the required ingredients delivered to her apartment this morning,” JARVIS chimed in helpfully. “I believe they are still in the fridge.”

“Then I shall go forth and retrieve them.” Thor made sounding getting a few grocery bags sound like he was going on an epic quest. “I shall be back.”

“I look forward to it.” Grace couldn’t stop herself putting a little bit of flirtation in the situation. With another beaming smile and slight bow, Thor strode out of Grace’s apartment.

“Oh my fucking god, do you need a moment alone after that?” Sam burst out laughing as soon as the door clicked close. “I have never seen you go so red in my entire life.”

“He’s like a real life Disney Prince,” Grace pointed out, joining in the laughter. “What girl wouldn’t enjoy that kind of attention? He kissed my hand and everything.”

“We need to find you a boyfriend so you don’t go drooling after the real life Prince.” Sam’s laughter died down into quiet chuckles. He had a mischievous glint in his eye, giving away exactly what he was about to say to Grace.  
“Sammy, I swear if the next words coming out of your mouth have anything to do with Steve, I will kick your ass,” Grace threatened. “And there would be no cannoli for you.”

“Consider my lips sealed.” Sam made a zipping motion to his lips. “I better go start finishing off these pizzas anyway. Don’t forget to shower and attempt to look pretty for tonight. I’ll pick you up at 1850 on the dot.”

Grace rolled her eyes, but didn’t bother with a come back. Sam was only trying to get a rise out of her and she wasn't going to take the bait. Thor came in the door just as Sam was leaving, making Grace smile again at his arm full of groceries.

“Shall we?” Grace asked.

Thor was surprisingly good company and a keen student as Grace helped him prepare the meatballs. He was very easy to keep a conversation with and was an attentive listener, especially when Grace was describing her journey through college and medical school. In return, he kept Grace fascinated with tales of him growing up on Asgard. Grace found it very hard to wrap her head around that he was an alien. Though there was very solid proof of aliens existing after the Battle of New York, Grace never expected to be standing beside one. Especially showing him how to make meatballs and better ways of cutting up vegetables. He left munching on a spare cannoli with 2 huge baking dishes stuffed full of meatballs and sauce a little after 6pm. It gave Grace enough time to finish filling the cannoli, have a shower and agonise over what she was wearing.

Grace wasn’t vain by any stretch of the imagination. She liked nice things, which extended to clothes and shoes. But having a vague dress code for the evening, plus wanting to impress the people she worked with. She finally settled on a dress she’d worn to a dinner date, what seemed like months ago now, with some strappy heels. Grace was putting the final touches on her makeup when Sam came back into the apartment.

“I’m dressed. Come see if I meet your approval,” Grace called out from the bedroom. The apartment smelt divine from Sam’s pizzas. It made her stomach growl, even though she’d been picking on food all afternoon. A few seconds later Sam appeared in her doorway and Grace could see him running his eyes over her critically in the reflection of the mirror.

“Your ass doesn’t normally look that perky, who are you trying to impress?” Sam said cheekily.

“It’s called shape wear and thank you for pointing out I need to go to the gym.” Grace rolled her eyes, capping her lipstick. “That’s not a helpful opinion.”

“You look nice,” Sam said with a small laugh. “I didn’t say your ass looked fat, I only said it looked perkier than normal.”

“Thank you for your helpful and unhelpful opinion all rolled into one,” Grace said dryly, but smiled. It did wonders for her confidence to have Sam tell her she looked nice. He’d be the first person to tell her that she looked stupid in something, or she was dressed inappropriately.

“That’s why you keep me around.” Sam flashed her a cheeky grin. “Lets go. Pepper likes to have pre-dinner drinks.”

“Should I bring something?” Grace asked, stalling mid step. She hadn’t thought to get anything for drinks at dinner. There was a few bottles of wine in her kitchen, but she hadn't actually looked to see what they were yet.

“Pepper like’s to drink wine that even your new pay check will cry at,” Sam was quick to reassure her. “You can tell when she’s had a bad day because it's when the really expensive stuff gets brought out. Come on, get your dessert otherwise we’ll be late.”

Grace gave herself a quick spray of perfume and followed Sam out of the room. The both grabbed their trays of food and headed out of the apartment.

“I hope everyone likes it,” Grace said, a little quieter than normal as he nerves kicked in while waiting for the elevator.

“Grace you can make ramen taste like a gourmet meal,” Sam chuckled, shooting her a reassuring smile. “You’ll be fine.”

“Until last week, I was still making ramen taste like gourmet food,” Grace chuckled with Sam. Though it did little to stop the butterflies in her stomach tap dancing. The elevator door opened and Grace squared her shoulders. She got through medical school and a residency from hell. She could do this.

The elevator ride and walk to the common room was quiet between the pair. As soon as Grace stepped in the door, she was assaulted by a lot of noise. Everyone looked to already be there and well into the full swing of appetisers and wine. Probably more wine than appetisers.

“Grace!” A tall, elegant strawberry blonde called out her name and came over to greet her. Grace didn’t need to be introduced to one of the most powerful CEO’s in the world. Pepper Potts looked every inch of the power woman she was. “So glad you could make it. Would you like a glass of red or white?”

Pepper friendly smile put Grace immediately at ease. Pepper looked to still be wearing her work clothes, but had taken off her jacket.

“White, please.” Grace immediately felt a lot more at ease at Pepper’s friendly smile. “Where can I put these?”

“Fridge or bench, whatever it needs.” Pepper waved towards the expansive kitchen off to the side. “Put it down and come drink. I’ll introduce you to Natasha.”

Thor using the word feast wasn’t an understatement. The kitchen bench was covered in dishes. Grace felt her mouth water at all the delicious smells as she put her dessert in the fridge. As soon as her hands were empty, Pepper was at her side again handing her a glass of wine.

“Thank you for coming to dinner,” Pepper said, looking a little relieved. “I feel rude I haven’t been down to meet you. I’ve been so busy.”

“Don’t worry, I have to,” Grace said, taking a sip of wine. She couldn’t place what it was, but it was a very nice wine. “Thank you for the job.”

“We needed someone who wasn't going to be too intimidated by this crowd.” Pepper absently waved a hand over to the group of men congregating around the bar at the opposite side of the room. “Besides, Sam won’t tell us anything about him. I was hoping to get some gossip on him to tease him.”

“Next time I’ll bring baby photos, naked ones.” Grace grinned. The last of her nerves quickly dissipated. “You should have seen the afro he tried to grow in high school. It was embarrassing.”

“I heard embarrassing photos, where are they?”

Grace looked to see a slender, red headed woman sidle over towards them. Bright green eyes looked up Grace with a lot more scrutiny than Grace was comfortable with. It seemed like an eternity before she stuck a hand out. “Natasha Romanoff.”

“Grace Anderson.” Grace took Natasha’s hand in a firm grip. It must have been the right thing because the tiny smirk on Natasha’s face grew at the handshake. In one simple gesture, Grace felt like she’d passed some sort of test. “I was just telling Pepper about the afro Sam tried to grow in high school. I’ll have to find the photos.”

“Once you do, we should have a margarita night,” Natasha said casually, taking a sip of her own wine. “If we get Jane drunk again, we can hear all about her sex life with a Norse god and them breaking furniture.”

Grace had just taken a sip of wine as Natasha spoke. For a horrible second, she was sure the expensive wine was about to come shooting out of her nose. But Grace managed to swallow it back with a strained cough.

“Natasha has no boundaries.” Pepper didn’t even try to apologise. “You get used to it.”

“So I get to ask you if Clint’s biceps are good for holding you up against the wall during sex?” The words spilled out of Grace’s mouth before she could stop them. She mentally cringed, but hoped she was keeping a cool face on the outside. Being a psychiatrist had given her a very good poker face. But the Black Widow could probably see right through that.

“I can give you a very good description about what those biceps can do.” Natasha’s grin was contagious. She held out her glass to Grace. “Welcome to the Ladies Club.”

Grace grinned back even wider, clinking her glass with Pepper and Natasha. It felt good to be included on the inner circle. She was very glad she’d come up for dinner now.

Dinner itself was noisy and full of a lot of laughter and people talking over each other. The food was mostly amazing and Grace was thrilled on being complimented for the meatballs and desserts. Thor had sung praises about Grace saving his cooking from being ruined. Sam’s pizzas had won over Natasha’s gorgonzola gnocchi, but it had been a very tough decision. It had been a fun night as she watched the team dynamics bouncing around the table.

Tony Stark was everything the media played him out to be. Larger than life, terribly obnoxious but it was obvious he cared for the people around him. Pepper well and truely had him hooked around her little finger. It would only take a look in his direction and Tony would be behaving himself. For about 5 seconds. Bruce was quiet, only speaking when spoken to but he paid attention to everything around him. Grace knew if something needed to be recalled from dinner, he’d be the person to ask. His intelligent brown eyes always took in everything around him, though he was very good at not letting it show. Steve was also quiet, though he was quick witted and not afraid to bite back when the teasing started. He and Sam were often the source of banter around the table, usually with Clint chiming in. Thor was loud, but always polite. Clint could go from being quiet to being the life of the table within seconds. Natasha was like Grace, she mostly stayed quiet and watched the antics going on around her. Like Bruce, she never missed anything.

By the time she excused herself, Grace was stuffed full and feeling a little tipsy. Pepper had kept their wine glasses topped up the entire night. Grace wasn’t sure how much she’d drunk, but she was definitely feeling a little buzzed as she went down to Bucky’s room. True to her word, she’d kept a selection of everything aside for him in takeaway containers. The kitchen had a food warmer, so she was able to keep it warm the entire night. The only thing she hadn’t brought down was the slightly burnt garlic bread that had been Tony’s doing.

She was about to leave, but Steve came over to her just before she got to the door.

“Can I come down with you?” Steve asked.

Grace wasn’t surprised by the request. Steve had been very good about keeping his space. But she thought it would be killing him on the inside to not be able to be with his best friend.  
“Of course.” Grace smiled easily. “I won’t stay long if he doesn’t need me. I’m nearly ready for bed. But you’re welcome to come down there any time.”

“I didn’t want to be in the way.” Steve’s returned smile was crooked. “Here, let me take something.”

She didn’t protest as Steve relieved her of most of the takeaway containers. It had been quite the armful and Grace didn’t trust her coordination after so much wine.

“Thanks.”

The walk out to the elevator and down a few floors was silent. Grace couldn’t think of anything to say and small talk with Steve seemed a bit too daunting for her current state. As they stepped into Bucky’s room, Grace had an idea.

“Why don’t you give these to him?” Grace suggested, pointing to the containers. “He said earlier that he thinks you had an Italian neighbour.”

“We did.” Steve looked surprised. “Mrs Bianchi. She used to look after us as kids when our moms would go to work. Does this mean he’s remembering?”

“I have a lot of notes to go over with you, when you’re free of course.” Grace shrugged, not wanting to commit to a solid answer. “It's a start but I obviously don’t know whats real or not from his early life. Some of the things from World War 2 and his HYDRA missions I can cross reference, but not everything.”

“I’m more than happy to help, I said that before.” Steve said, looking distracted as he stared at his friend through the glass. “What do I say to him?”

“Anything you want.” Grace took a step aside to give Steve some room.

Steve stood in the middle of the room, looking very lost. He swallowed a few times, staring at his friend through the glass. Grace waited patiently, watching the range of emotions go across his face. Steve was nervous and excited all at once. If he was anyone else, he might have been vibrating with all the contained feelings.

“There are no right or wrong things to say,” Grace said gently after a full 2 minutes of silence. “Whatever you want to say to him is fine. Hi, is usually a good start.”

Steve nodded, swallowing hard as he stared at the glass. Grace could see the smallest of tremors come over his hand. But Steve steeled himself, pulling himself upright and cleared his throat.

“Hey Buck, I brought some dinner down.”

Bucky instantly paused in his writing, looking up through the glass. His face twisted in confusion, frowning in the direction of Steve’s voice.

“Steve?”

Steve visibly sagged in relief.

“Yeah, it’s Steve.” Steve still looked a little lost for words. Grace gave him an encouraging nod and a thumbs up. “Do you remember Mrs Bianchi? She used to look after us as kids.”

“She made us spaghetti and meatballs.” Bucky nodded slowly, like he unsure about his answer. “Grace said she was making tiramisu. We never had that.”

“No, we didn’t.” Steve looked down at the containers in his hands. “Though I’m sure if Mrs Bianchi could have made it for us, it wouldn’t have been as good as the one Grace made tonight.”  
Grace was happy to blame the wine for the flush that came over her face at the praise. Everyone had been very vocal about how good dessert was. But coming from Steve again was very pleasing.

“I brought you some spaghetti and meatballs as well,” Steve continued. “Well, Grace brought you down a lot of food but I carried it.”

Bucky snorted, but said nothing else. He idly tapped his pen against the book, looking like he was trying to find the right words for the situation. After a few seconds of silence, he simply nodded and went back to writing.

Steve’s face visibly fell as the obvious dismissal.

“Don’t worry about it.” Grace soothed him instantly. “He remembered you and something from his past. That’s a good thing.”

“I was hoping for more.” Steve huffed out a frustrated sigh. “I guess I shouldn’t have got my hopes up. Did I do something wrong?”

“No.” Grace reached over and gave his arm a reassuring squeeze. “I’m lucky to get a grunt out of him sometimes. He’s very focused on his books and memories at the moment. How about you come down here tomorrow morning and we can start going over the first of the notes I’ve put together?”

“That would be great.” Steve smiled, the disappointment draining from his face. He looked over to Bucky who was writing, oblivious to everything else around him. “Am I allowed to be disappointed I didn’t get more out of him?”

“You are.” Grace reassured him again. “I know how much he means to you. But this isn’t going to be fixed overnight. It’s going to be a long, slow road with lots of bumps. I wish I could give you your best friend back in a week. Super Solider or not, the brain doesn’t bounce back from years of brainwashing overnight.”

Steve sighed and stared sat his friend for a long minute. Grace took the opportunity to take the containers out of his hand and put them into the room for Bucky. She wasn’t surprised to see Bucky drop his pen and book straight away when the food went through. Food was about the only thing that would make him stop what he was doing. Much to Grace’s surprise, he went straight for the tiramisu. Grace watched carefully as Bucky closed his eyes, pausing mid chew as if he was really enjoying the food. It was gone quickly, but Bucky shovelled another few mouthfuls in just as fast. He looked a bit like a chipmunk with his cheeks full of dessert.

“Did you want me to bring breakfast?” Steve asked suddenly, breaking Grace’s concentration. She looked over to him as Steve fumbled with his words. “I mean, I can have breakfast sent up or…”

“Do you know any places that do good bagels?” Grace cut him off gently before he could get too embarrassed. “I could really go a creme cheese and salmon bagel for breakfast.”

It as a little white lie. Grace was so full she couldn’t think of fitting another morsel of food into her body any time soon. But she didn’t want to get Steve flustered, or work himself up for their meeting in the morning. After all, it was just a meeting and going over Bucky’s memories. There was no reason to get embarrassed over it. She hoped. Grace caught herself staring a little longer than was considered polite at Steve. Either he was too polite to notice it, or he was a little distracted himself. She mentally smacked herself, cursing the wine and Sam’s teasing words from earlier. That was not a thought she needed to entertain. It was preposterous to even consider it. Steve was simply distracted by Bucky.

“I know just the place.” The smile on Steve’s face was well worth the little lie. Grace found herself smiling back and was suddenly looking very forward to breakfast tomorrow.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for all you kudos and comments on this! I'm thrilled to see people enjoying it. 
> 
> This will be the last update for about 3 weeks. University is about to be the death of me, and I really need to concentrate on a few subjects. Especially my biochemistry. Biochemistry sucks!


	6. Chapter 6

“Dr Anderson.”

Those 2 little words were enough to make Grace groggily stir from her sleep. She looked up at the ceiling, wondering if she’d imagined the crisp British accent.

“Sargent Barnes appears to be having a nightmare. His vital signs are very elevated.” JARVIS sounded apologetic. “Would you like me to attempt to wake him?”

“No, thank you JARVIS.” Grace was up and moving before JARVIS finished telling her what was going on. Her mind felt a little fuzzy from the wine from dinner as she fumbled for the door in the dark. Like he sensed her distress, JARVIS put the light on in the apartment. Grace squinted in the bright light, making her way through the apartment and into the elevator as fast as her feet would allow. It wasn’t until she was in the elevator, she realised she hadn’t even thrown a robe over her pyjamas. Grace shook her head, trying to get the silly thought away. Bucky wasn’t exactly going to complain about her being in boxers and an old singlet. Grace was thankful that was 30 years old, nothing was starting to sag in unwanted places quite yet. 

The elevator seemed to take only half a second before Grace was on the right floor. Jogging across the hallway, Grace flung the door open. As she did, Bucky sat up on the bed with a strangled scream dying in his throat. He was covered in sweat, his bare chest and hair were dripping wet. The plates of his metal arms whirred and clicked as he flexed his arm. His flesh hand was white from clenching it so hard. He was close to hyperventilating as he sat on the bed heaving for breath.

“Bucky.” Grace started, crossing the room and standing as close to the glass as humanely possible. She put her hand up on the glass and put on her most soothing voice. “You had a nightmare.”

“Can’t breathe,” Bucky gasped out in short wheezes. “Crushing…”

“You’re breathing right now,” Grace soothed him, cutting him off. “Do what I say. Breath in, hold for 5 seconds and then breathe out.”

It seemed like an eternity before Bucky took in a shuddering breathing. Grace counted in her head, waiting for him to exhale. It was more like 10 seconds, but Bucky finally blew out a long breath.

“And another, 4 seconds this time,” Grace instructed. “In.”

On her command, Bucky breathed in again. 

“And out,” Grace said after the required 4 seconds.

Bucky let out another long shuddering breath.

“And again. 8 seconds this time.”

Grace instructed Bucky through another few cycles of breathing until he was able to breath without hyperventilating.

“Where am I?” Bucky’s voice sounded like he’d just swallowed a load of gravel.

“You’re in New York, Manhattan to be exact.” Grace went to the fridge and got a bottle of water out. “About a week ago, you were wandering around Brooklyn. Do you remember who brought you in?”

“Steve.” The name came out as a croak in Bucky’s voice. “Steve brought me in. You have a pretty name. Why can’t I remember it?”

Bucky slammed the palms of his hands into his eyes, rubbing them hard. Grace winced at the force he hit himself with, but didn’t comment on it.

“Because you a nightmare and you’re still waking up,” Grace said gently. “And thank you, I think it’s a pretty name as well. You’ll remember it in a minute. Just breathe and give yourself time.”

Bucky’s face screwed up under his hand like it was physically hurting him to try and process his memories.

“It’s 2015,” Grace continued. “You were working for HYDRA until 6 months ago.”

“I went on a killing spree,” Bucky’s voice was scarcely above a whisper. “I hunted down my handlers and those left and ripped them apart with my bare hands. There was blood, so much blood…”  
Bucky trailed off, leaving Grace an opening.

“You weren’t yourself.” Grace tried to calm him down. “What HYDRA did to you left a mark and you have every right to be mad at the people who did this to you. You are safe now though. No one here is going to hurt you.”

“Grace.” Bucky said suddenly, as his head snapped back up. His gaze wavered for a second until he zeroed in on her behind the glass. “Your name is Grace.”

“That’s right,” Grace said gently, feeling a small smile tug at her lips. Suddenly at her name, Bucky looked like he was back here in the present moment. His fists unclenched and his shoulders drooped, making him look small and exhausted. “It’s okay Bucky, you had a nightmare. I’m right here.”

“A nightmare,” Bucky repeated, his head dropping back into his hands. “I’m here with…”

Bucky trailed off again, the small part of his face that Grace would see was furrowed in intense concentration.

“Steve.” Grace supplied for him, not wanting to add any stress to his night. “Just remember. Steve. 2015. Manhattan. Those are the things that are real right now. Can you repeat them for me?”

It was a simple distraction technique. It made the patient feel back in control of their situation and remind them that whatever they were experiencing, it wasn’t real.

“Steve. 2015. Manhattan,” Bucky parroted back obediently, taking in another deep breath. He held onto it for a few seconds before letting go. 

While Bucky composed himself, Grace put the bottle of water into the chute. She looked around Bucky’s room with a small sigh. There was no reason he couldn’t have a small fridge in here to keep drinks in at least. She’d have to talk to someone about it later. The clock in the room only read 3:17 am. No one would be awake for hours. For all Grace knew, she and Bucky were the only ones awake in the Tower. Bucky made no move to get up off the bed, he simply stared at the glass in front of him looking miles away. The plates on his arm started to work again as he clenched his fist.

“We should watch a movie,” Grace interrupted his thousand yard stare, making Bucky jump. He frowned in Grace’s direction, raising an eyebrow in question. “There’s a TV in your room and I dare say Stark has an impressive movie collection hidden somewhere.”“Stark?” Bucky’s frown turned thoughtful. “I knew a Stark.”

“You did,” Grace confirmed with a smile. “Howard, his son Tony owns this building.”

“Howard.” The word sounded foreign on Bucky’s lips as he continued to frown, deep in thought. “He made me the most beautiful sniper rifle. I wonder what happened to it? Did he knock some poor unsuspecting girl up?”

Grace covered her mouth to stop the snort of laughter coming out. Everything before that was a broken man trying to piece together his memories. The last statement sounded like the man hidden deep within the layers of brainwashing. 

“His wife actually.” It took Grace a lot of effort to keep her laughter in check. “Howard got married in the 60’s and had a son, his name is Tony.”

“Sniper breathing.”

The change of topic was so quick, Grace’s head spun a little. Though, she would blame it on the lingering effects of the wine. It took her a second to realise what Bucky was talking about.

“Yes, sniper breathing. An ex SEAL visiting a teammate was doing it to keep his teammate calm through a panic attack. I asked him about it and he explained the teammate had been his spotter many times and it was a technique they were taught in sniper school to maximise their shooting,” Grace explained, her thoughts drifting back to that day early in her residency. The ex SEAL she spoke to was SHIELD. Grace wondered if he was still alive. She couldn’t remember his name but remember his face clearly enough. He’d been quite attractive, but so shy. His teammate has teased him ruthlessly even before Grace was out of earshot. “The guy who explained it to me was in SHIELD. I kind of wonder what happened to him.”

“My last handler was SHIELD.” Bucky phrased it so it was more like a statement than a question. 

“He was, Brock Rumlow,” Grace said with a nod, even though Bucky couldn’t see her. She was mildly surprised Bucky wanted to keep talking. But this was a good step without pushing any boundaries just yet. “The man has worse handwriting than I do.”

Part of Grace’s research had been digging into trying to find out what happened to Bucky’s last handler. He’s been critically wounded in the fall of the Triskelion, but every record of him suddenly stopped about 3 months ago. There was no death certificate, so Grace assumed he’d either gone back to HYDRA or disappeared off the face of the Earth. He had the skill and resources to do both.

“He was nice to me.” Bucky’s next words surprised the hell of out of Grace. From the last reports from Rumlow, nice wasn’t a word she’d use. Effective, but definitely not kind. “One of the other men questioned it once. Sir said if you treat a dog bad, it’s gonna bite you. He made sure I was treated with respect. Do you know what happened to him?”

Grace winced at the analogy used. As horrible as it was, it wasn’t a lie. It just wasn’t a very nice way of putting the situation into words.

“He was injured when the Triskelion fell.” There was no point lying to Bucky. It would only come to bite Grace in the ass if Bucky found out later. “But then he disappeared. Do you think he’s trustworthy?”

“No.” Bucky’s reply was instant as he shook his head. “He was one of HYDRA’s top dogs and would shoot his best friend in the head if it served his purpose. But I still respected him for not treating me like a mindless drone.”

Bucky looked like he was going to say more, but his mouth suddenly snapped shut.

“How about that movie?” Grace wasn’t going to push. What happened now was some good progress, despite the nightmare. Pushing and prodding was only going to make Bucky’s situation worse.

“I don’t remember the last movie I saw.” Gruff and sulky Bucky was back as he threw himself back on the bed, staring at the ceiling. 

“Good, because you have 70 years of movies to catch up on,” Grace said cheerfully, happy about the little breakthrough from before. She wasn’t going to let Bucky’s sulky mood deter from that. “Do you remember Disney movies?”

Bucky shot Grace an incredulous look, making her smile even further. A sulky Bucky Barnes was much better than a brooding Winter Soldier.

“You’ll be in for a bit of a surprise how much they’ve changed,” Grace said with a small chuckle. “JARVIS, can you put on Frozen in Bucky’s room please?”

Grace had to sit through hours and hours of watching Frozen. It was a favourite among her nieces and nephews for far too long. The recreational rooms in Walter Reed seemed to have in playing on loop for months not long after the DVD release. Still, it was an innocent enough movie that Bucky was either going to love or hate. Grace wouldn’t have to sit there watching him carefully for any triggers. Secretly, Grace still enjoyed the movie despite seeing it a few thousand times.

“Of course Dr Anderson,” JARVIS responded quickly. A second later the opening scene started to play on the TV. “Shall I filter the sound into this room as well?”

“Yes, please.” Grace knew it off by heart. But she wasn’t going to knock back a bit of entertainment at this time of the morning. She went to the couch and dragged one of the rugs and cushions off it, so she could sit against the wall and be somewhat comfortable. Dropping to the ground, Grace saw Bucky sitting up out of the corner of her eye as the first song was playing. She wedged the cushion between the glass and pulled the blanket around her. It wasn’t very comfortable, but Grace couldn’t see Bucky’s television from the couch. So it would have to do.

Despite being tired, Grace stayed awake during the entire movie. Though his facial expression didn’t change much, Bucky’s attention stayed glued to the screen for the movie. Grace could have sworn there was a few quirks of his lips. But it was too quick for her to say for sure. Once Frozen was finished, Bucky turned to face Grace.

“It’s a long way from Snow White.”

“It is,” Grace chuckled, rubbing her stinging eyes. She was extremely pleased he remembered something without asking for clarification. “Do you want something else like that?”

There was a long pause before Bucky spoke. Grace sat there, patiently waiting while his inner conflict played over his face. He looked wary to be asking for something else. But he also looked like a child who’d just discovered something amazing and wanted more of it.

“Yes.” Bucky finally said and added in a smaller voice. “Please.”

“JARVIS, can we have Brave next?”

Grace snuggled down further into the little cocoon she’d made as the next movie began to play. The sound of Scottish music filled the room and Grace closed her eyes. It was soothing listening to the gentle music and the giggles of a young girl getting her first bow. Grace heard, rather than saw Bucky shift in his bed.

A hand on her shoulder made Grace jerk away in surprise. Her eyes flew open to find Steve stand over her with a tray of coffee and paper bag in his hands. Grace blinked up at him blearily before her eyes fell on the clock on the wall. It was a little after 7am.

“Shit.” Grace groaned, reaching up to rub her face. A quick look in the room saw Bucky asleep again. He was passed out on his back, mouth open in a soundless snore. Unlike before, he looked at peace in his sleep. 

“Rough night?” Steve asked, his eyes following Grace’s line of vision.

“Nightmare,” Grace said, wincing at the hoarseness of her own voice. She cleared her throat and pulled the blanket around her a little tighter, suddenly uncomfortably aware of sitting here in pyjamas and nothing else in front of Steve. “It’s to be expected. We watched Frozen and then Brave. Kids movies are always a good distraction.”

Steve’s lips unexpectedly quivered and he cleared his throat a little louder than what would be polite. Grace looked up at him, quirking an eyebrow at the squashed down humour.

“Sorry, it was a comment Tony made once. It was a little inappropriate.” Steve cleared his throat again, having a hard time keeping a straight face.

“But now you have to tell me,” Grace prodded, feeling her own smile tug on her lips. Whatever it was, it should be good. “I grew up with 5 older brothers and Sam was my best friend. Believe me when I say that I’ve definitely heard inappropriate before.”

“Natasha and Clint were watching Brave in the common room.” To Grace’s delight, Steve gave in quickly. “Tony walked past and said that Merida would be what their child would look like. Except she would have murdered and kept the heads of her suitors instead.”

Grace snort of laughter came out before she could stop it. It was undignified, but it made Steve laugh as well. Together, they both laughed for a few seconds.

“I will never get that image out of my head now,” Grace said with a final chuckle. “Thanks. Is one of them my coffee? I could chew my arm off for some caffeine right now.”

“Right.” Steve looked flustered for a brief second. He grabbed the nearest cup, handing it to Grace. “I wasn’t sure what to get you. But the barista said a latte was always a good choice.”

“Coffee of any type works for me.” Grace inhaled the smell of coffee greedily. It wasn’t from Starbucks and it smelt divine. “I’m not even fussy if there’s milk or not.”

Grace took a sip of coffee, savouring the rich blend sliding over her tongue. She usually scoffed at people and their expensive coffee blends. But she could get used to this. She could even afford to get used to quality coffee. 

“And the promised bagel.” Steve handed her the paper bag. 

“Thanks.” Grace patted the floor next to her, as well as she could with her full hand. “Please, pull up a chair in my office.”

Steve laughed, but complied, sinking down across from Grace. She couldn’t help but to sneak a quick glance at the man across from her as he got settled with his own drink. He looked and smelt freshly showered. A few days of stubble was over his face, giving him a light beard. If it wasn’t for the bulging muscles under his casual t-shirt, he looked like a completely normal person. Grace still felt the need to pinch herself to make sure this situation was real. That she was actually sitting across from Captain America and this wasn’t a crazy dream. 

“Did Bucky say what his dream was about?” Steve asked, taking a sip of his own drink. Judging by the smell, it was the same coffee Grace was drinking.

“No.” Grace dug into the bag to get her promised bagel. There were 4 in the bag and the top one was marked as a smoked salmon. She took it out, handing the rest of the bag back to Steve. After seeing how much he could eat last night, she didn’t doubt the rest were for him. “He woke up confused as hell. It took him a little bit to remember where he was, but he got there. I have a few questions actually before we get stuck into his books.”

“Ask away,” Steve said, taking the bag off her. 

Grace couldn’t help but notice how much more at ease Steve was when he felt like he had a purpose. It was like he didn’t quite know his place in a normal conversation. It wasn’t enough to make him look extremely uncomfortable, or unconfident about how he handled himself. But it was enough to a trained eye to notice he was never entirely comfortable in a casual conversation.

“The first one is a bit more personal, probably a little bit silly really,” Grace said, carefully unwrapped her bagel. It was a long shot what she was about to ask. “A few years ago I ran into a guy who was an ex SEAL visiting an old teammate. He was SHIELD back then and I’m sure he mentioned STRIKE. I can't remember his name, but he told about the breathing techniques snipers used and I’ve used it a lot with patients. It's one of those things that now I’ve thought about him, I kind of wondered what happened to him in the fall of SHIELD.”

“What did he look like?” Steve asked as Grace paused to take a breath. “Even if I can’t think of the person, Natasha or Clint would know. They were both STRIKE. Natasha knew everyone, and everything goes on in their lives too.”

“About 6’1, light but muscular build if that makes any sense?” Grace pursed her lips, scanning her memory for his face. If she hadn’t had a boyfriend at the time, she would have asked him out for a drink. “Brown hair, but he had really green eyes.”

“Riley,” Steve said with a small laugh, almost instantly. “Riley Hunterton. His wife is Natasha and Clint’s best friend. There weren’t many in STRIKE that were loyal to SHIELD. But he was one of them and a handful of others. He saved a lot of lives when the Triskelion went down. He and his wife live in Minnesota now.”

“Oh damn, he’s married,” Grace joked, taking a bite of her bagel. She was happy to hear he was one of the few loyal to SHIELD though. Even though she’d only met him briefly, it made her glad someone’s life had turned out well. Grace’s little joke made Steve laugh.

“His wife was STRIKE too, be careful,” Steve warned playfully, looking completely at ease at their conversation. “They both retired to the quiet life, running his family’s chicken farm.”

The wistful, almost sad look that crossed Steve’s face made the tease Grace was about to make die in her throat. She carefully switched topics, not quite ready to try and broach a topic with Steve about personal issues. Grace knew she needed to build the trust between them more before she could do that.

“Bucky also mentioned Howard Stark made him a sniper rifle, he wondered what happened to it.” Grace changed the topic to something more neutral. 

“It is hanging up in the Smithsonian under his exhibit.” Steve relaxed again, unwrapping his own bagel. “It was a lovely rifle. Completely custom made, years ahead of anything we had at the time.”

“That’s a shame,” Grace mused, picking a piece of salmon off her bagel. Another thing Bucky had said earlier popped into her mind. She fought back a smile and tried her best to keep her tone casual. “Bucky also thought Tony was a product of Howard knocking up some poor unsuspecting girl.”

Steve had just taken a bite out of his bagel. He had to quickly clap his hand over his mouth, his face turning bright red as he struggled not to choke. Grace sat there, smiling innocently as she watched him struggle. Steve finally managed to swallow his food, coughing as it went down.

“Did he really say that?” Steve’s voice was scratchy. He had to clear his throat a few times before he could speak again. “Because that’s the Bucky I know.”

“He did,” Grace finally let herself laugh. It was a very funny comment and not far off the truth about what Grace knew about Howard Stark. Steve joined in her laughter a second later. “It was a hilarious comment.”

“And exactly the Howard that Bucky knew too,” Steve said around his laughter. His gaze drifted to the sleeping man in the other room. “That gives me hope my old friend is still there.”

“He is,” Grace reassured Steve, smiling at him. “He’s doing well. He remembered Brock Rumlow, his last HYDRA handler. Did you know him?”

“I did.” The good humour fell away from Steve’s face. “I swear if he hurt Bucky in any way, I’ll double the efforts to hunt that son of a bitch down. That man even had Natasha fooled about who he really was. I drank with him, played poker with him, hell I even considered he was a friend outside of work.”

The bitterness of betrayal was easy to make out in Steve’s voice. While Grace didn't know the full story, she knew he had every right to feel betrayed. Close knit elite groups were like brothers. A betrayal among them would be like being stabbed in the back by your own family. At least there was one thing she could soothe him about.

“Quite the contrary actually,” Grace said carefully. “Bucky said he treated him with respect. It wasn’t a nice analogy he used. But the respect was still there. So that’s one less bullet you have to put in him.”

“That doesn’t sound right coming from a doctor,” Steve’s face was still tight, but a small bit of tension faded at the joke.

“Some people deserve the bullet or bullets that are coming for them.” Grace shrugged. “Just because I’ll do anything to save a life, doesn’t mean I don’t think some people deserve what they get. Besides, I’m a psychiatrist. I only deal with sick in the head people. Snotty noses are gross.”

Grace was pleased Steve managed a proper laugh at her poor attempt at humour. It wasn’t far from the truth. Doing her paediatrics rotation as an intern had been a new form of hell for her. 

“So, 5 brothers?” Steve asked, changing the topic with a curious look. “It’s not often you see big families these days.”

“Yes, I have 5 brothers,” Grace said with a smile. Steve was right, coming from a big family was getting rarer and rarer as the times went on. “I was a bit of an accident. There’s 9 years between me and my last brother. I think my parents were very grateful they finally got a girl though. Holidays are a new type of insane.”

“You weren’t here for last Christmas,” Steve said, the last bit of tension fading away from his posture. “Or Thanksgiving. Tony tried to deep fry a turkey,”

“Gross.” Grace laughed, finishing her last piece of bagel. “Did you want to come up to my apartment so we can go over those notes? I don’t think he’s waking up anytime soon.”

Bucky was in the same position as before. He hadn’t even twitched during the time Grace and Steve had been eating breakfast. His face was relaxed and calm, unlike earlier. Grace felt a small rush of relief at seeing him sleeping again. The movie had either bored him to sleep, or he felt comfortable enough after his nightmare that he could go to sleep. 

“He looks peaceful,” Steve voiced her thoughts, looking wistful at he gazed at his best friend. He stood up and offered his hand to Grace. “Shall we?”

Despite the deflection, Grace could see the thoughts so clearly on his face. It wasn’t a surprise Steve would have problems sleeping. Grace had no doubts his own PTSD ran very deep. But confronting him about it wouldn’t help the situation. Steve was a man of his time. Anything to do with his own mental health was going to be a stigma.

“Lead the way.” Grace paused, suddenly remembering how little she had on. Instead of being embarrassed, she decided to own it. If Steve was the gentleman he came across as, he wouldn’t blink an eye about it. “And excuse my pyjamas. I didn’t have time to get changed.”

With more confidence than she was feeling, Grace let the blanket drop off her shoulders. To his credit, Steve didn’t blink at her lack of proper attire. His eyes stayed firmly above her neckline. Grace wasn’t surprised. She was sure that someone like Steve wouldn’t be interested in her body at all. She was feeling the effects of far too much good food since her stay here. She was going to have to ask Sam to show her to the gym. Otherwise, she’d end up 300 pounds before her time here was over.

The elevator ride up to Grace’s apartment was silent. Grace kept her arms crossed over her chest, mindful of the cool air. Once they got into her apartment Grace got her laptop and the first of Bucky’s books. Steve was standing by the kitchen, looking unsure of himself. He had his hands shoved in his pockets, scanning the apartment like he was on a mission.

“Make yourself at home,” Grace said, motioning to the couch as she put the laptop down on the coffee table. “I’ll grab the first of the books and we’ll go through my notes.”

“I’ll make a coffee if you’d like?” Steve was nervous again. Grace could see him trying not to fidget or look too uncomfortable.

“Coffee maker is right there.” Grace pointed to the expensive machine on the bench. “I have no idea how to use it.”

“Luckily I do,” Steve said, looking ridiculously pleased with that small bit of information. When Grace looked at him in question, he shrugged not looking the least bit embarrassed. “Pepper showed me when I first moved in. Out of all the modern appliances, I love my coffee maker the most.”

“You’ll have to show me,” Grace said, returning the smile. “I’ll be back in a second.”

Without waiting for an answer, Grace turned on her heel and went straight to her bedroom. She resisted the urge to tug on her boxer shorts down so they covered a little more than the bare necessities. It would only draw attention to her self-conciseness about them. It didn’t take her long to get changed and head back into the lounge room. True to his word, Steve had a steaming mug of coffee waiting on the coffee table. Steve was already reading the first book, his brow furrowed in concentration.

“It’s a bit of a mess,” Grace warned as she sat down next to him, leaning over to open the notes on her computer. “Except for his handwriting. His handwriting makes my neatest attempts look like chicken scratch.”

“It was probably the only thing the nuns managed to beat into him,” Steve said, looking up from the book. He looked uncomfortable at what he’d been reading. “Is any of this true?”

Grace leant over to have a look at what part Steve was referring to. It only took her a second to zero in on what he was referring to.

“According to his files, yes.” Grace fought to keep her voice even. Bucky had gone from writing about stealing art supplies for Steve when they were kids, to a mission in Vietnam during the war. The particular mission had been Bucky slaughtering a village that aided US troops. Then he’d hunted down the men the Vietnamese village had helped and killed them as well. For whatever reason, the Soviet’s wanted those men dead and sent the only weapon they had that would make sure of that. Bucky’s resulting retake on those events with graphic and in a perfect description. Grace had felt ill the first time she’d read it. 

“I never thought Bucky was capable of such things,” Steve murmured, looking sick himself. “I know it’s war. But this is…”

“Something else,” Grace finished for Steve. It had taken her a few hours to wrap her head around on a personal and professional level. “But the way I look at it is that Bucky Barnes and the Winter Soldier are two very different beings. If this wasn’t a case of brainwashing, which I’m still trying to wrap my head around, to be honest, I’d called it dissociative identity disorder.”

Steve’s blank look made Grace stop the current train of thought she was on.

“Multiple personality disorder,” Grace explained. A look of understanding bloomed across Steve’s face as he nodded. “It doesn’t quite fit this because Bucky remembers what he did as the Solider. Dissociative identity disorder patients often have big gaps in their memory from when their other personalities take over. But not all, some people feel like they're seeing things happen through someone else’s eyes and they have no control over what that current personality is making the body do. But it's the same principle. A person with true DID can’t be held accountable for their actions when one of their personalities take over. It’s something they have no control over.”

Grace trailed off, feeling like her mouth was running away from her. She couldn’t help it. Despite the frustrations of her old job, she loved delving into the mind of people. Rare and complex disorders were always a fascination to her. It’s one of the reasons she decided to with help PTSD patients. The complex layering of the disorder made it a challenge to treat. Grace loved being the one to peel apart the layers and bit by bit put people’s brains and lives back together. But to her surprise and secret delight, Steve looked completely fascinated by what she was saying.

“Sorry, I’m rambling.” Grace cleared her throat. She took a sip of coffee to cover her mild discomfort. 

“Not at all,” Steve reassured her with a smile. “You’re passionate about it. Please, go on. I’m enjoying this.”

Steve was far too polite for his own good. But Grace found herself picking up where she left off, happy to have an avid listener. Most of her friends and family got a glazed look on their faces when she started to talk about these things.

“Treating someone with DID is really tricky. You can’t medicate them like you would say for someone with bipolar. People’s different personalities are like an entirely new person and there’s no baseline for an actual chemical reaction that goes on the brain when they switch. The only way to address it is work through the underlying cause, which in most cases is trauma. So we use psychotherapy as a baseline, which is in very simplified terms is what most people would know as talking therapy. But it’s a fine line between pushing for information because you have to be mindful of an alter coming out. At the moment I don’t know what triggers the Winter Solider to come out, or if he's a separate personality if you want to call it that, in Bucky. He can’t remember what’s real himself and what’s not. Which is why I have him writing down the memories. No matter how disjointed and horrible they are, it's a baseline of how much Bucky remember’s of his previous life.”

Grace paused to take a deep breath. Steve’s attention had stayed on her throughout the entire explanation, much to her surprise. 

“I need to find out what’s real and what’s not. If it’s not real, then I try and find out where he thinks that memory came from. If it's real, then I work on helping him through the horrible things that he can remember. As slow as it is starting from the bottom, it gives me a baseline of where to go from here. One of my favourite Professor’s likened it to building a 7 tiered cake. If you don’t make your bottom layer rock solid and able to support everything, it’ll come tumbling down with disastrous consequences. I feel like I need to buy you dinner for sticking with me through that entire explanation.”

“You explained it very well.” Steve laughed briefly. His eyes went back to the computer screen and book in front of him, chasing away the humour on his face. “I’m sorry you have to read things like that. I was in a war and I found it hard to get through.”

“I deal with veterans who have seen and sometimes done horrible things, day in and day out,” Grace gently reminded Steve. “Everyone has their demons. Some are more horrifying than others. I don’t judge, I only help people put their lives back together when they hit rock bottom.”

“So, how do you deal with this on a daily basis?” Steve waved a hand over the laptop and book. He wasn’t prying, he was genuinely curious with a touch of concern in his voice. “I mean as a whole, not just Bucky.”

“I’m not going to lie, some nights I would go home and cry myself out with a very big bottle of wine,” Grace said dryly. “It’s hard. I felt sick to my stomach reading some of those things. But I have to distance myself on a professional level. You have to learn to compartmentalise and function with empathy while still being detached. You also learn to recognise when you’re in over your head and when you need to talk to someone about your own problems. A surgeon can’t operate on their own body, so a psychiatrist can’t do therapy on yourself. I’m lucky I have Sam. He’s helped me through some really rough patches. I couldn’t ask for a better friend.”

“He says the same thing about you,” Steve said with a smile. “It was you and no one else when we brought Bucky back. I’m beginning to see why.”

“Don’t get too generous with your praise just yet,” Grace warned with a playful tone to cover up her embarrassment at Steve’s praise. The smile he gave her was giving her butterflies again, for an entirely non-professional reason. She cleared her throat and motioned to the laptop. “Shall we?”

It was late afternoon by the time they got through half of the first book. The notes Grace had made before ended up doubling thanks to Steve’s input. All of Bucky’s memories from his earlier life had been true. Grace had laughed so much as their shenanigans as younger men that her stomach had hurt. She was enthralled by Steve’s stories of their youth and during the war, on the times he got a little more sidetracked. But amongst the laughter, there had also been some sombre moments. Steve’s mom’s funeral was hard to get through. As was the bits and pieces of what Bucky had put together after he fell off the train. Steve took it all in his stride, putting on a stoic face as he added to the fragmented memories. When the words started to blur together, Grace called it a day. 

“Thanks for all your help,” Grace said, leaning against the doorframe. She was dying for a quick nap before dinner. Sam had texted earlier promising to bring over Indian. Steve was lingering in the hallway.

“I’m the one who should be thanking you for all your hard work,” Steve countered. He looked as tired as Grace was feeling. “My brain hurts from looking at all of that, let alone putting it together.”

“It’s a very long and slow process.” Grace couldn’t stop the small sigh escaping from her. “But now I have somewhere to start.”

“A start is good.” Steve smiled at Grace. He was back to looking mildly uncomfortable. His hand came up to rub the back of his neck as he looked past Grace, instead of at her. “I didn’t mean to ignore your dinner comment earlier.”

Grace couldn’t stop the surprise from showing on her face. She was very glad Steve was looking past her and not at her right now. That wasn’t at all what she’d been expecting.

“It's fine. “Grace recovered quickly. “It was a joke between Sam and I while I was in med school. I’d ramble about a topic and in return, I’d have to buy him dinner for boring him half to death about the cool new disease I learnt about.”

“Right.” Steve looked disappointed, but it was gone as quickly as it came on. His posture was rigid as he went back to looking uncomfortable and unsure of himself again. “Did you want to go through more of the book tomorrow?”

Grace studied Steve’s face, trying to place where this conversation was actually going. It wasn’t her imagination that Steve looked disappointed at her brushing dinner off. Part of her mind wandered into dangerous territory, that Steve actually wanted to ask her out for dinner. The direction her mind wanted to go with that piece of information wasn’t in the friendly territory. It could have come across as them going on a date. In Grace’s mind, that was preposterous. She was sure she was tired and reading into a situation far too much. But part of her was now far too curious to see what would happen if she extended the dinner invitation. 

“I actually want to start going through some of this with Bucky tomorrow,” Grace started, she felt a flutter of nerves as she put her plan into place. “But I’ll pick you up for dinner at 6pm tomorrow because you were such a good listener. I feel like I owe you a really big steak for sticking with me and my psychiatry ramblings.”

It was very forward of her and very presumptuous. The look of surprise on Steve’s face made Grace’s stomach drop. She suddenly felt like she’d just misread the entire situation. But she kept a smile on her face to hide her inner turmoil. It’d been far too long since she’d asked someone out to dinner, even just as a friend. The silence seemed to tick on for hours, but in reality, it was only a few seconds.

“Steak sounds amazing.” Steve looked shy and very pleased all at once. “I’ll see you at 6 then. Have a good afternoon Grace.”

“Bye.” Grace shut the door before she did something stupid. Like giggle uncontrollably about how she just asked Steve Rogers to dinner and he accepted. Grace quickly pinched her arm to stop the giddy feeling from overwhelming her. It was only dinner between friends, nothing more. She wasn’t going to let a few looks and reading too much into a situation come between the start of a new friendship. Still, Grace let herself feel one more little thrill as she went back to her computer. Her nap was long forgotten as she sat down, pulling the computer into her lap and started to look for a good steakhouse to go to.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So obviously I'm not a psychiatrist, so this was all gained from a lot of reading and research. I hope everyone enjoyed it and didn't mind the information dump too much.
> 
> I know a few of my readers from Crystallize will notice a VERY familiar name. But these stories aren't linked at all. It was one of those moments of 'what if' with this being an entirely different universe, I guess you could call it. So I promise its definitely not a spoiler for Crystallize. Just me being a bit nostalgic and needing a name.


	7. Chapter 7

“Its a date.”

“It is NOT a date.”

“It IS a date.”

Grace sighed while glaring in the mirror at the person lounging on her bed. Or at least she tried to. One eye was closed as eye shadow was being brushed on. It only ended up in her looking like she was squinting. Living in the Avengers tower was like living in a small town. Everyone knew everyone’s business. It’s how Grace found a grinning Natasha Romanoff at her door an hour ago with Clint and Lucky in tow. Despite her numerous protests she could get ready for her dinner with Steve all by herself, Natasha wouldn’t hear any of it. It’s why she was sitting in a chair while Clint did her make up. Natasha had a selection of outfits laid out for her and was now stretched out over Grace’s bed with Lucky.

“You don’t think I haven’t heard this from Sam already?” Grace tried to switch tactics. No matter what she said, everyone was convinced this was a date. Sam had already been over that morning, teasing her mercilessly about it. The only reason she had taken it so well is that Bucky had been talkative in the first session Grace pushed him about some of his memories. Grace had given Bucky some of the notes she’d gone over with Steve. The memories had prompted him to open up a little, not much. Grace was thrilled with the tiny step of progress.

“I know you’ve heard this from Sam, I’ve been actively encouraging him to make sure Rogers is dressed appropriately for tonight,” Natasha quipped. “You picked a fancy steak house and he needs to learn to dress like someone from this century.”

“I picked a steak house that said it has the biggest steaks in New York,” Grace ignored the dig at Steve’s way of dressing. Grace didn’t care if he showed up in cargo shorts and a t-shirt. “Nothing more.”

“You should wear the red dress,” Natasha urged, leaning over to scratch Lucky’s ears. The dog huffed in his sleep, stretching his legs before settling down again. “You have the boobs for it.”

In front of Grace, Clint laughed quietly under his breath. Grace was grateful he wasn’t injecting his opinion into the matter. Though she was still very surprised at his offer to do her make up for tonight. The pair of assassin’s had certainly made her feel very welcome.

“So, where did you learn to do makeup?” Grace asked, hoping to steer the conversation into neutral territory. She had been leaning more towards the knee length black dress for tonight. It looked more business-like and less ‘Wow look at my boobs’ type of dress.

“I grew up in the circus,” Clint’s voice was slightly muffled with the eyeliner in his mouth. “The ladies always liked having a steady hand around.”

“And he liked having an excuse to see them all in their underwear, especially when he was a teenager,” Natasha put in, earning her a dirty look from her partner. “What?”

“If it makes you feel better, Sam got suspended in high school for setting up a camera in the girl's locker room,” Grace struggled to hold back her amusement. “It was quite the scandal at the time.”

That earned her a round of laughter from the pair. Grace was still surprised this was actually happening. Out of all the people to knock on her door, these two were the least expected. Grace had a feeling this was more than helping her out. She felt like this was almost like a mission and they were gathering intel on her. Grace wasn’t offended though. It had been their life watching and manipulating people, seeing what made them tick. Regardless of their motives, Grace was very grateful for the help and the friendship she was being shown.

The conversation drifted in and out of unimportant things as Clint finished her make up. Grace was very impressed with the subtle but sexy look he’d gone for. The smokey eye and shade of red lipstick wasn’t something she’d pick for herself. But she had to admit, it worked very well. Grace picked up the black dress of the back of the chair and took a step towards the bathroom.

“You aren’t going to a funeral.” The displeasure was clear in Natasha’s voice. She’d thrown the black dress over the chair earlier in hopes Grace would ignore it. “Come and pick out something more appropriate.”

“This is appropriate,” Grace argued, clutching the dress to her chest. “It’s not a date.”

“It’s a classy restaurant in which you are taking an attractive man, more importantly, he’s Captain America and will most definitely get recognized,” Natasha argued back. She got up off the bed and picked up a red cocktail dress and a deep green halter neck dress. “You need to look your best.”

The thought hadn’t crossed Grace’s mind about going out with someone who was a superhero. The Avengers had the celebrity status of movie stars. No doubt they were going to attract a lot of attention. A woman going to dinner with Captain America was going to create a stir, whether Grace wanted it to or not.

“Red one.” Grace held out her hand for the requested dress. “I like it better than the green. I need jewelry too.”

“I have the perfect earrings,” Natasha said excitedly, handing the dress over as she got up. “Go get dressed. I’ll be back.”

Natasha bounced off the bed and out of the room. Lucky raised his head to follow his mistress, but soon put his head back down and went back to sleep. Grace smiled at the dog and then over to his owner as well.

“I really appreciate this,” Grace said, holding the dress to her chest. Nerves fluttered in her stomach, despite telling herself and everyone else this was not a date.

“This is what we do,” Clint gave her a smile, walking over to the bed to sit on the edge. Lucky woke up long enough to rest his head on Clint’s leg before going back to sleep. “Go, get dressed. Steve is ridiculously punctual. In fact, he’s probably standing at his door wondering if he should head down early and stand in front of your door awkwardly.”

Grace took his advice and went into the bathroom. She already had her chosen underwear on under her robe so it was a simple case of pulling on the dress. It was a slinky dress and clung to everything, making Grace feel a little self-conscious of all the good food she’d been eating lately. She flicked her straightened red hair around her face, letting it fall in soft waves. Staring at herself in the mirror only made her nerves grow.

“Okay,” Grace blew out a long breath. “Come on Grace. You look awesome girl and this is not a date. You’ve got this.”

The reflection staring back at her looked a lot more confident that Grace was feeling. But she gave her hair one last pat before going back out into the bedroom. Clint had gone into the kitchen, Grace could hear him shuffling around. But Lucky still hadn’t moved. If he wasn’t breathing, she’d be wondering if he was dead. Whoever took Lucky for a run this morning must have worn him out completely. The pair of black heels were very impractical, but Grace knew she wasn’t going to be walking far. At 5’6, she needed the extra height around Steve. As she sat down on the bed next to Lucky to do the strap up, Natasha came back into the room with 2 Tiffany boxes.

“Is this the part where you tell me if I lose them you’ll maim me?” Grace joked as she took the offered boxes. Opening the longer of the two, Grace couldn’t stop her small start of surprise. The glittering diamond bracelet looked like it cost more than her education.

“It’s not me you have to worry about, it's Pepper,” Natasha explained. “Then again, I’ve had these for 6 months and she said she’d forgotten about them. Tony buys her a ridiculous amount of jewelry.”

Grace gingerly took the delicate bracelet out of the box. It was a simple design, a gold bracelet with diamonds on the individual links.

“Good thing I have Captain America with me.” Grace put the bracelet on her wrist and held it out to Natasha to do up. The tiny clasp looked like it would snap if someone breathed on it the wrong way. Grace didn’t want to be the one testing that theory. “This looks like it would have paid off all of my student debt.”

“I’m sure there’s jewellery upstairs that would run a small country for a year,” Natasha said dryly, doing up the clasp with nimble fingers. “I’ve been around rich people before, but never of Stark’s magnitude. But he does good things with his money these days.”

Grace nodded in understanding as she reached for the smaller of the 2 boxes. Stark Industries had become the leader in medical technology ever since they had stopped making weapons. Grace had seen some of the new technology at medical conferences. Some of it made even the grimmest of surgeons excited like kids at Christmas.

The earrings matched the bracelet. Simple drop earrings with diamonds. There was a bit of effort to get them into the holes. Grace had seen one too many accidents involving psychiatric patients and earrings to wear them during work. Once the earrings were in and her shoes were on, Natasha gave Grace a small nod.

“Now you look ready to go to dinner with Captain America.” Natasha was extremely pleased with herself.

“Going to dinner with Steve Rogers is perfectly fine too,” Grace knew her argument would be ignored but she said it anyway. She looked in the full-length mirror in her bedroom and found herself nodding in approval. Natasha was right, she looked fantastic despite her earlier reservations.

“Yes, but the public doesn’t see him as Steve Rogers,” Natasha pointed out. “Don’t be surprised if you get snapped by paparazzi. They’ve been relentless since SHIELD fell, especially when it comes to Steve.”

“Hence why I look so good.” Grace’s earlier suspicions were confirmed as she swept her hand over her outfit. “Thank you for your help.”

“It’s what we do.” Natasha brushed off Grace’s praise. “Come have a pre-dinner drink that I’m sure Clint is mixing up.”

On cue, the blender in the kitchen started up briefly. The gleeful look on Natasha’s face made Grace wonder if she was about to regret having the pre-dinner drinks. She dutifully followed Natasha into the kitchen and found Clint pouring a toxic looking green drink into cocktail glasses. On the bench was an assortment of liquor bottles, far more than Grace would have thought necessary for one drink.

“I have to walk in these heels you know.” Grace looked at the cocktail doubtfully.

“I’ll tone yours down with Sprite,” Clint promised. “Where’s my dog?”

Grace pointed back to the bedroom where Lucky was still snoring. She doubted he’d move unless he had to.

“Sorry.” Clint gave Grace an apologetic look before turning back to the cocktails. “I promise he’s clean and doesn’t have fleas. Thor took him for a walk this morning. I’m pretty sure they walked the entire island of Manhattan. Here you go.”

Clint turned back around and offered Grace the glass. It didn’t look any less green, but the soda in it seemed to dull the alcohol smell down. Grace took a doubtful sip, half expecting to get alcohol poisoning from it. But to her surprise, it tasted fruity and not at all alcoholic.

“I feel like this could be very bad if I have more than one.” Grace took another sip. “This tastes like you’d have 6 of them and then forget how to walk.”

Any reply from Clint was cut off by a knock at the door. A second later JARVIS’ voice came from the ceiling.

“Captain Rogers is standing at the door,” JARVIS announced.

“Let him in please JARVIS.” Grace ignored the knowing looks sent in her direction. Grace wondered if he had been standing at the door feeling awkward like Natasha had said earlier. She didn’t have time to ponder on it too long. The door swung open and Steve was standing there in the doorway.

The first thing Grace noticed was how incredibly good Steve looked. He was dressed in a casual suit without a tie. The navy blue suit and a very light blue shirt looked immaculate on him. He was clean shaven and expensive cologne tickled Grace’s nose from across the room. A few butterflies that had nothing to do with being nervous erupted in Grace’s stomach. Steve looked nervous standing in the doorway.

“Hi,” Grace said, lifting her drink in his direction to deflect her own attention away from the butterflies. “Do you want one of Barton’s toxic cocktails before we go?”

The nervous tension Steve had been holding disappeared at Grace’s question. A smile came to his face, which did nothing for Grace’s butterflies. There was something about a good looking man in a sharp cut suit that always got to her.

“No thanks.” Steve walked into the room, eyeing off the drink in Grace’s hand. “Barton, are these the drinks that made Natasha throw up off your balcony on movie night?”

“You said we would never talk about that again,” Natasha called from the kitchen. Grace turned to see a scowl on Natasha’s face while she was glaring daggers at Clint. “I wasn’t the only one throwing up either.”

“We had food poisoning from that horrible street vendor you insisted we eat it,” Clint said leveling a scowl straight back at her. “I was sick for a week because you insisted that you had to have that Brazilian barbecue meat.”

Grace smothered back her laughter by taking another sip of her drink as the pair continued to squabble over whether Clint was drunk or sick.

“So, was he drunk or sick?” Grace turned to Steve to sort the argument out. Not that Clint and Natasha were paying attention to either one of them.

“I’m sure it was both,” Steve said with a small chuckle. “Everyone who was there that night had a week off work from food poisoning. But we all drank a lot that night. You look very nice.”

“You have Natasha and Clint to thank for that.” Grace deflected the praise, feeling her cheeks heat in pleasure at the compliment. “You look very nice too.”

“You have Sam to thank for that,” Steve said with mild exasperation. “I feel like we got ganged up on.”

“I think so too,” Grace laughed, taking another long swig of the drink. “Do you get the feeling we weren’t trusted to dress ourselves?”

“No, you weren’t.” Natasha cut into their conversation. “You two need to get going. Do I need to give you a curfew?”

Natasha teasing was aimed more in Steve’s direction than Grace. Steve rolled his eyes and opened his mouth to make a comment. But Clint beat him to it.

“11pm kids and don’t be late,” Clint said, wagging a finger at both of them. “Call us when you get there so we know you arrived safely. Do you need anything? Breath mints? Spare condoms?”

“Okay, we’re going.” Grace put her half-finished drink down, shooting Clint an exasperated look. “You’re an asshole, Barton.”

“I’m just being helpful,” came Clint’s cheeky reply as he put his hands up in surrender. “Have fun.”

Grace rolled her eyes at the heavily lanced innuendo Clint threw at them. She grabbed her coat that was already thrown over the back of the sofa.

“I’m taking this for the road.” Grace changed her mind and picked up the still half full cocktail glass. “And leaving before you kill both of us from embarrassment. Be helpful and eat the rest of the tiramisu in the fridge so I don’t get any fatter than I already am.”

Grace tried to make a show of storming out the door looking like she was embarrassed. But she found herself fighting back a smile that the two master assassins would have seen from a mile away. Steve was a step behind her and both of them were silent until they came to the elevator.

“I feel like I should apologize for them.” Steve turned to Grace, his own amusement clear on his face. “But this is their way of showing they care.”

“I don’t doubt it’s also their way of analyzing my every movement and manipulating me into doing things their way,” Grace said with no malice at all. “Hence the red dress.”

“Natasha is a steamroller,” Steve said with an apologetic smile. “Once she gets it into her head something must be done a certain way, there’s no stopping her.”

The elevator opened with a ding. Steve stepped aside, motioning for Grace to go first.

“This is where I apologize for Sam probably doing the exact same thing to you.” Grace stepped into the elevator. She pushed the button for the basement level. Sam had already organised a car and driver for them this evening, despite Grace insisting she would be fine in a taxi. It’s one thing Sam hadn’t backed down on. “He looked far too gleeful when I told him to get out of my apartment this morning.”

“For once, I was very glad of Tony’s instance that we all needed bespoke suits,” Steve said with a grin in response. He motioned to the well-fitting suit hugging his muscular form. “Sam didn’t have to take me to do any last second shopping.”

“Do you ever get the feeling our friends are reading into dinner far too much?” Grace felt herself grin as well. Despite their friends meddling, Grace was looking forward to their dinner together. Steve seemed more at ease than she thought he would be.

“Yes,” Steve answered near instantly with a small laugh. “I fully expect to find Natasha in my apartment when we get back wanting a full debrief like this is a mission.”

“Me too.” Grace shook her head, though she was still smiling. She took another drink of her cocktail. “Is this normal for them?”

“Only to people they decide to trust,” Steve said with a flicker of sadness across his face. “After the Battle of New York when I got back to DC, I had no one. Then Natasha shows up on my doorstep that night announcing we’re having a pizza night and wouldn’t take no for an answer. She introduced me to some of the Bravo team STRIKE guys who were there. All of a sudden I had a social life thrust upon me and I was too busy to be lonely.”

“That doesn’t sound like a bad thing.” Grace gave Steve a gentle smile. The elevator opened making Grace jump in surprise. She had barely felt it go down. As Sam promised earlier, the car was already waiting for them. As much as she wanted to dive into asking Steve a few thousand questions about that time in his life, Grace kept herself restrained. For now.

“Not at all.” The smile on Steve’s face was completely genuine this time. “She’s a good friend.”

Steve stepped towards the car first and opened the back door for Grace. She had to stop herself short so she didn’t run into the now open car door. Grace was glad her cocktail was nearly empty now. It could have made a mess on her dress. She’d forgotten about it during their brief trip in the elevator.

“The men of my generation could take a few lessons from you on manners.” Grace quickly recovered with another smile. “Is it you I’m thanking for Sam’s newfound manners of opening the door for me and pulling out my chair?”

“Be careful,” Steve said in a warning tone. The serious tone in his voice was completely voided with his blue eyes sparkling with mischief. “You may hear what Tony like’s to call my Captain America rants. It’s why I’m not allowed to have Twitter.”

Grace laughed so hard she could barely breathe as she climbed into the car.

The drive to the restaurant was a slow crawl. Grace barely noticed it as she chatted with Steve about his day and how her session with Bucky went. Though there wasn’t much progress, Grace was excited to share the tiny steps they were making.

The driver managed to find a park right in front of the Old Homestead Steak House. Grace took Steve’s offered hand as she climbed out of the car.

“Thank you.” Grace quickly smoothed the imaginary creases in her dress out. It was warm enough she was able to leave her coat in the car, along with the now finished cocktail. “Shall we?”

Grace was painfully aware of the attention the two of them drew as they made it the 10 steps from the sidewalk into the front door of the restaurant. Steve had lost the few days worth of beard on his face and it was unmistakable who it was. Grace was suddenly very glad for Natasha’s insistence she look her best.

“Hello, do you have a reservation?” The hostess at the door asked. As she looked up, the hostess froze like a deer caught in headlights.

“Yes, Dr Anderson for 7pm,” Grace said smoothly, ignoring the woman gaping at Steve. “May we get a table at the back, somewhere private please?”

“Of course.” The hostess went 7 different shades of red. She hastily grabbed 2 menus and without checking for the reservation led them to a table in the back corner.

Grace shared an amused look with Steve as the hostess bustled around them once they were seated. The poor woman was so flustered by Steve’s presence she dropped their napkins twice and had to go back to get the wine and drinks menu from the front.

“I’m sorry.” Steve apologized as soon as the hostess was out of earshot. He motioned to his cleanly shaved face. “I usually keep the beard but this place felt too fancy to not shave.”

“Don’t apologize, Natasha did warm me this might happen,” Grace said with a small shrug. She picked up the menu, slightly glad for looking at it online first. Despite the healthy bank account, Grace still inwardly grimaced at some of the prices. She put down the menu and picked up the wine menu instead. “Do you drink anything specifically?”

“Only what Pepper puts in front of me.” Steve looked over the top of his menu at Grace. “It doesn’t affect me and I honestly can’t tell the difference unless it’s white or red.”

The last part was said rather sheepishly, making Grace laugh a little.

“Have you found anything that affects you at all?” Grace asked curiously. The wine list prices weren’t making her feel much better. Her curiosity was piqued at Steve’s honest answer.

“Thor has some liquor from Asgard that makes me feel somewhat drunk.” Steve’s face scrunched up at the memory. “It doesn’t last long and the taste is not worth the hour buzz I get from it. I’ll drink whatever you’re having though. I enjoy the taste even if it does nothing.”

Their waiter interrupted anything further Grace was going to ask. Unlike the hostess, the waitress was cool and professional. Though she did stare a little longer than necessary at Steve.

“Can I get you drinks to start with?” The waitress asked, pen poised above her notepad.

“A bottle of whatever you recommend in a white,” Grace said with a lot more confidence than she was feeling. The wine list was rather overwhelming. “With 2 glasses. I’ll have a bread basket too please.”

The waitress nodded and disappeared to get their order.

“You are the first person I’ve been with who doesn’t bombard me with questions about my transformation,” Steve’s question made Grace look up from the menu. “The few times I’ve been set up on dates it is unbelievably awkward because they all want to know the old stories or about Captain America.”

Grace felt her heart ache for the man in front of her. It had been 3 years since New York and the world finding out Captain America was back from the dead. She couldn’t begin to imagine how hard it was for him.

“I’m curious but I’m more interested in Steve Rogers,” Grace said, putting her menu down. She inwardly winced at her wording, hoping it wasn’t coming across like she was flirting. “ He’s far more interesting than Captain America.”

It could have been the light, but Grace swore she saw Steve’s cheeks turn a very faint shade of pink.

“What about you?” Steve changed the subject. Looking at the menu was long forgotten as Grace raised an eyebrow in surprise. “I’ve talked so much about myself but I feel like I barely know you.”

The waitress came back with the bottle of wine and bread basket before Grace could say anything. It only took a minute to pour the glasses and disappear again. It didn’t take a genius to notice neither of them were ready to order.

“Ask away.” Grace took another look at the menu and gave up a second later. There were too many choices and the man across from her was far more interesting than debating about food.

“So why psychiatry?” Steve’s question wasn’t a surprise. Grace had been asked it plenty of times.

“I’ve always been interested in the human mind, seeing what make’s people tick,” Grace said with a fond smile. “My major originally was psychology and then I did a few biology and anatomy subjects. I was really good at them and my anatomy professor suggested I sit the MCAT.”

“MCAT?” Steve was enthralled in the conversation. He hadn’t taken his eyes off Grace while she’d been talking.

“Medical College Admissions Test,” Grace explained. “I got a really good score and decided I had nothing to lose. I applied to University of Michigan and Yale. Got into Michigan and there was never a doubt in my mind I wanted to do psychiatry. Even through all my rotations as an intern, nothing else grabbed my interest like this does. Though neurology was coming a very close second for a little bit.”

“Nothing else caught your eye?” Steve asked curiously. “No wanting to be an astronaut or anything like that?”

The last part was said as a gentle tease making Grace grin.

“I did go through a Princess, Ice Capades skater, cowgirl, veterinarian and baker stage,” Grace said, her grin growing at the ease of the conversation. “It was usually all in one week too. My mom always said I was the most indecisive child she ever knew until I hit college anyway.”

“Because snotty noses are gross, right?” Steve said lightly, making Grace laugh.

“They sure are. In my circle of friends, I’m about the only childless one left. Besides Sam that is. I love kids but as soon as they start with bodily functions I’m happy to hand them back. What about you?”

“I love kids,” Steve admitted, almost shyly. “Back when they had me doing the Captain America shows to sell war bonds, people would always hand me their babies for photos. I was always glad to hand them back if they cried or did any sort of bodily function though.”

“I’ve seen those photos.” Grace couldn’t help but say. “They tend to do the rounds on social media quite a bit.”

“You can probably thank, or blame, Pepper for that,” Steve said, still smiling. “She has an entire team handling all the social media.”

“Because you’re banned from Twitter?” Grace teased, reaching over to take a sip of wine. The white was a perfect blend. Like the earlier cocktail, it went down quite easily.

“At least I’m not the only one. Tony is banned too..” Steve laughed. “Barton is allowed to keep his YouTube channel as long as he doesn’t troll people in the comments.”

“Barton has a YouTube channel?” Grace had to resist the urge to pull her phone out to have a look. “I’m guessing it’s all cool trick arrow shooting?”

“Some of it.” Steve reached over to the bread basket and took one of the pieces out of it. “A lot of it is him teaching archery from scratch. It’s got some ridiculous following of millions of people. I’m pretty sure Natasha trolls the comments section though.”

The waitress coming up interrupted Grace’s laughter. Beside the waitress was one of the chefs who looked positively giddy as he came up to the table.

“Excuse the interruption,” the waitress said smoothly. “But this is our head chef, Stanley.”

“Pleasure to meet you,” Steve’s tone went from the teasing jest with Grace to serious and professional within a second. He stood up and shook the chef’s hand. “This is Dr Grace Anderson, she’s our new team psychiatrist.”

Grace felt flattered than Steve had instantly introduced her. Stanley’s attention shifted over towards her. He held out his hand with a warm smile. Grace found herself returning the smile and the handshake.

“Pleasure,” Stanley said, shaking Grace’s hand as vigorously as he had done with Steve. As they both sat back down, Stanley continued to speak.“I wanted to come out personally to see if I can help either of you with your dinner tonight. It’s such an honor to have you here, Captain.”

“Grace?” Steve turned to her. Grace hid her smile at the obvious move to make sure the spotlight stayed off Steve. “I haven’t looked at the menu yet.”

“How about you bring us whatever you recommend,” Grace said smoothly to Stanley. “I’m not fussy and I’m sure Steve would enjoy the biggest steak you can find.”

The answer satisfied the chef and he went back to the kitchen at a fast pace. Grace took another sip of her wine, feeling amused at the brief interaction.

“I have always wanted to order like that,” Grace confessed once the waitress was gone from earshot as well. “It makes me feel sophisticated.”

Steve’s laughter was barely able to be contained to an acceptable level for the restaurant. Grace found herself joining in a few moments later.

The conversation drifted around Grace’s life growing up while waiting for their food. Over the entrees of crab cake and Rockefeller oysters, it moved back to Steve relaying stories of his time in SHIELD. Most of those were mostly the antics of Romanoff and Barton, along with 2 of their close friends and Steve being dragged into their mischief and mayhem. Stanley personally came out and served them their mains. Steve got the biggest steak Grace had ever seen. Her own steak, while considerably smaller was the best steak she’d ever had in her life. The bottle of wine went down very easily over the dinner and turned into a second bottle. The massive piece of chocolate cake for dessert was too much for Grace, so she pushed the last half of it over to him.

“I’ll burst if I eat anymore,” Grace admitted, lounging back in her chair. Between the good food and conversation, she hadn’t felt this relaxed in a long time.

“I’ll never say no to chocolate cake.” Steve’s own dessert of creme brûlée was long finished. He took the offered plate and dug into the gooey chocolate cake. “Do you want anything else?”

“No, I’ll grab the bill.” Grace looked around to find their waitress. The restaurant was nearly empty making Grace frown and glance down at her watch. It was a little after 11. They’d been there for hours. It had only felt like an hour at most to Grace. “I think they might be ready to kick us out soon.”

Steve looked around in the same surprise Grace had just had.

“Time flies with good company.” Steve gave Grace a smile that made her feel a lot warmer. “I know you said it was your treat, but will you allow me to at least offer to pay something?”

“Please, offer all you like.” Grace laughed while scanning the room for their waitress. The woman had been attentive to their needs without overwhelming them. “I”m still paying. You can give our waitress a tip if that makes you feel better.”

“I can do that.” Steve scooped up the last bite of cake. “Next time, I pay.”

“Done.” Grace felt a small thrill at the offer of a next time. She finally caught the waitress eye and motioned for bill. By the time she came over, Steve was done with his cake and had pushed the plate away from him.

Grace scanned the bill to see what they’d been charged. To her surprise, the bill was zero.

“Courtesy of the chef,” the waitress explained as Grace looked up to ask about the lack of a bill. “Stanley refused to let Captain America pay for the meal. It was a pleasure to serve you.”

“No, thank you for dinner. It’s been amazing.” Steve answered first, quickly wiping his hand on the napkin. He shot grace a small, smug smile before pulling out his wallet. Grace knew this was an argument she’d never win. “Allow me.”

It amused Grace to see that Steve carried around a healthy amount of cash on him. It was like he was determined to pay for something on dinner. While he was tipping their waitress, Grace grabbed her phone out and sent a text message to let the driver know they were ready to be picked up. Though New York never sleeps, the traffic at 11pm was going to be a lot better than 7pm.

Steve offered his arm to Grace as they left the restaurant. The evening had grown chilly and Grace was happy for the excuse to walk closer to Steve. Much to Grace’s surprise, the car came around in less than a minute.

“The drivers wait about a block away,” Steve explained as Grace’s confused expression. “It’s for security or if we need to get back in a hurry.”

Steve opened the door as he spoke, allowing Grace to slide in and out of the cold air.

“I have a lot to learn about the life of a superhero,” Grace said as she shed her coat in the warm car. The privacy window was up between them and the driver other she would apologize for making him wait so long.

“It’s still weird to me.” Steve climbed in beside her. The car took off as soon as he closed the door. “Never in my dreams did I think things like tonight would happen to me. Sometimes it’s easier to keep my beard, put on a hat and go have a burger and shake in Brooklyn.”

“I’ve never been to Brooklyn,” Grace admitted. Steve gave her an over exaggerated horrified like like she’d committed a mortal sin. Grace shot him a sheepish smile. “Perhaps I need a tour guide?”

The wine was making her feel bold. Tonight had gone so well she wanted to do it again. Steve was everything a good friend would be. Kind, funny, intelligent and a good listener. As good as he looked in a suit, Grace was more than happy to see the casual side of him too.

“There’s a diner which has been in the same family since back when I was a kid,” Steve’s answer was almost instant. He looked at Grace with a small but nervous smile. “They do the best burger and chocolate thick shake I’ve ever had. My treat this time.”

“I’d love to.” Grace felt her cheeks heat again. The same butterflies from earlier came back with a vengeance.

“Good.” Steve had a bit of color rising on his face. “I suppose we can look forward to being teased about a date again.”

“Oh, we’re not going to hear the end of this for a month at least,” Grace said with a groan. She was smiling though. “I suppose it’s better than them trying to set us up, either together or with someone else.”

“Did I tell you Natasha was trying to set me up with my neighbor back in DC?” Steve asked. “And the neighbor was a SHIELD agent sent there undercover to protect me?”

“No.” Grace sat up a little straighter. “Please tell. This sounds like a disaster.”

The rest of the drive and trip up to Grace’s apartment was Steve telling the story to Grace.She isn’t sure if she should laugh or cringe on Steve’s behalf about the entire situation. Sharon, as her name turned out to be, at least turned out to be a good person and helped in the downfall of SHIELD.

“Thanks for walking me to my door,” Grace said as they reached her apartment. “I had a really good time tonight.”

“Me too.” Steve smiled. “Our not date was better than any date I’ve been on.”

“I’ll have to regale you of some of my horror dating stories over burgers and fries.” Grace couldn’t help but smile back. On impulse, she reached over and gave Steve a chaste kiss on the cheek. She found herself lingering for a moment longer than necessary. Steve smelt really good up close. Hoping her lingering wasn’t noticed, Grace pulled back quickly to a more suitable distance.“See you in the morning?”

“Of course.” The color was back in Steve’s face.

He hesitated for a second before reaching over to take Grace’s hand. The butterflies in Grace’s stomach increased at the touch of his hand in hers. Steve brought her hand up and gently brushed his lips on her knuckles. Like Grace’s kiss on the cheek, it was brief and chaste. A simple chivalrous gesture but Grace found her body responding in a way it shouldn’t be right now. Not with someone who she was seeing as a friend

“Good night,” Grace said softly. She didn’t move to take her hand from Steve’s. His thumb brushed over the top of her fingers, making her body shiver involuntarily. The moment stretched out for an eternity before Steve finally dropped his hand from hers.

“Good night.”

Steve was close enough to Grace that all she would have to do was lean forward to kiss him. Neither of them were making a move to leave, despite the good nights already being said. Grace took a step back, not trusting herself with the amount of wine she’d drunk tonight. The man in front of her was far too tempting with how she was feeling. It would ruin everything she’d been working on since getting here if she made a move and it was rejected.

Grace put her hand on the door and it opened silently. Before her resolve crumbled, she walked into her apartment and closed the door behind her. She leant against the now closed door, letting out a long shuddering breath.

“Down girl,” Grace coached herself. “Too much wine makes you horny and leads the bad decisions with men. That is a no go.”

Despite her little speech to herself, Grace found her body was not cooperating with her words. She pushed herself off the door, toeing her heels off in the next step. She needed to go to bed and keep her distance from temptation on the other side of her door. Steve was not only a work colleague, but he could potentially be a patient. it was an ethical nightmare waiting to happen if she let her body take over right now.

Grace got undressed, wiped her makeup off and climbed into bed. After a long day topped off with wine and a very good dinner, sleep came to her easily.

Something poked Grace in the side. Hard. Hard enough to make her jerk awake, flailing to try and hit whatever was poking her. The morning sun was near blinding as Grace cracked her eyes open. A familiar face was standing over her.

“What Sam?” Grace groaned, turning to bury her head back into the pillow. “Unless you’re dying, go away. I don’t want to share my not date gossip with you so early.”

“Gracie.” The seriousness of Sam’s tone made her relinquished the hold on her pillow. Sam wordlessly held his phone out to her. Squinting in the morning light, Grace took the phone and looked at the screen.

There were several photos of her and Steve from dinner last night. All of them were obviously from a phone camera and close enough to make both of them out clearly. The news article was captioned.

**Captain America and new Avengers psychiatrist on a date! More details to come on this breaking story.**

Grace felt her stomach drop as she stared at words on the screen.

“This is not happening.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this has taken me forever to update. I knew exactly what I wanted in this chapter but my brain would not let me write it. Thanks for being patient with the very long wait on this one everyone! I really appreciate it.


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